Words For A Child's Life

A child's life is a blank page. 

What will the first words be? 

Shut up! 

Get out of my sight. 

Go play. 

Don't touch! 

You, that child's parent, write upon 

These words teach fear. 

They register unwantedness. 

They say, "I don't love you." 

Let your words teach gentleness and beauty. 

Let them supply high moral principles, 

courage to meet life's disappointments, 

pride in a job well done. 

Use words that reflect your love: 

Beautiful, son! 

You did a great job. 

Don't worry--we'll clean it up together. 

I'm so proud of you!

 

When your child is grown, you will look at him 

and see the words you wrote on that blank page. 

Write words you will be proud of!

Author Unknown

There is one universal truth in this world:  your words will determine the future.  I am told that in every major religion in the world there is something in their teaching that reflects this principle.  In Christianity, it is a central and essential life giving principle.  God spoke the word and the world was created.  Moses spoke the word and the Red Sea split, saving the Hebrew nation from certain annihilation.  Jesus spoke the word and the centurion’s servant was healed.  Paul turned and looked deep into the eyes of a tormented lady and spoke the word and her tormentors fled abruptly.  Later, in Romans 4:17 he tips his hand, telling us he got the idea from God, for “He gives life to those things that are dead, and calls those things that are not as though they were.”

In parenting, the truth about your words and how they shape the life of another human being is paramount.  Early in our parental careers we read an excellent book by John Trent and Gary Smalley called The Blessing.  What is remembered about that book is the concept of painting “word pictures” for your children.  The idea is to speak words of blessing over them in the form of a picture of their life.  Its an awesome thought that a child’s destiny is so colossally determined by the words that they absorb so early in life.  Where does a child get the idea that he is worth something in this world?  Where does she gain the understanding that she does not have to compromise her standards in order to gain acceptance?  Conversely, where does the child learn that he will never amount to much in this world?  Where in the world did a 5 year old get the idea that he’s a holy terror (or unholy!) and an unwanted addition to the family?

Who writes these messages on a child’s hearts?  Obviously, parents get first shot at it.  Me, you and every parent in this world will speak into their child’s life.  Will the child hear the sounds and voice inflections of acceptance?  Or will it be words of rejection and that their life is one of intrusion and hardship?  Its an awesome responsibility, perhaps the most awesome responsibility in the whole world.  But even more, it’s the most awesome privilege in the whole world to think that God Himself, has trusted us enough to place such a powerful tool, not in our hands, but in our mouth!

But who else writes these messages on a child’s heart?  Over the years we have been so aware of the words spoken to our children and have guarded their hearts from words that could have caused destruction.  As parents, we took this principle of the spoken word very seriously.  We have made tough, sometimes unpopular decisions to not leave them in children’s church, remove them from classrooms, and not visit some of their friends’ homes because we were wary of the messages they would receive while there.  We made sure that those who were writing on our children’s hearts would be speaking words we knew would be productive and help them grow.

And what was the fruit of our efforts?  We now have the advantage of hindsight as 4 of our children have hit their 20’s and see them acting on those words that have been etched on their hearts for years.  In short and without squawking our pride too much, our older children are solid, love God, respect themselves and others, and contribute much to the Kingdom of God and society.  Their lives were no accident.  They were spoken in profound, positive prophetic ways from day 1…and we aggressively and unapologetically did everything we could to protect them from others who add negative, ungodly words to their cerebral processes!

We’re in month 5 now with our 4 new children.  Its amazing the scripts that have already been written on their hearts and minds, even down to the 2 year old.  Many of the words have been quite toxic and have generated significant hurt and disappointment.  But, like a spring flower blossoming after a good soaking rain we have noticed that our new children respond to kind words, words of affirmation and reassurance, and a lexicon of acceptance and love.  They begin to open up, hearts are merry, and emotions are healed as they leap (sometimes literally) with joy and excitement.  It saddens us that 463,000 children are currently involved in the Foster Care system in the United States alone, about a third of which are available for adoption.  Who is writing words on their hearts?  Is it staff that are going home at 5:00 sharp?  Is it the social worker?  Or maybe the parents that failed to provide basic nurturing in the first place?  Or is it the kids at school who can be so “innocently” ruthless on the kid living in a decent home, not to mention “the kid living in the shelter”?  Or even worse, maybe it’s the 15 year old who’s also in Foster Care, who projects his or her lifetime of hurt and negative words onto the 6 year old housemate!  Oh if people only realized the damage they can do with their words! And what a difference can be made with the right words.

Our task now is to rewrite those negative words and give these four children a positive, healthy future. The kind of future God intended for them from the beginning. What words can you speak in someone’s life today?

Boys!

Raising boys is one of the greatest experiences one can have in life. Boys are full of energy, mischief, curiosity and LOVE! Who can resist a sweet, innocent boy, who may happen to be covered in mud at any given time?

They are also very responsible and love to learn to do lifeskills...that is, when they're not doing dog piles!

We raised three of our own. They are each 9 years apart but when they get together they become one age and enjoy each other and doing things together. Like wrestling, fishing, camping, and cooking. What fun to have cooking throw downs with these boys! Family gatherings make for great memories and awesome food.

We had so much fun and love with the first 3 so we couldn't resist and adopted 3 more boys!  These three are each one year apart. WOW! It is like having triplets, but oh so fun...and never a dull moment!  We also have four wonderful girls and I don't mean to leave them out but this post is about boys so there will be another time to show off the girls.

That leaves us with 4 boys at home and the boy fun is full and alive in our house.  Whether its playing outside, crawling on dad's tractor...or lap...

or hanging from trees, working in the garden, conquering universes with their Star Wars light sabers,

swinging from tires,

or enjoying ice cream

never mind the chocolate on the white shirts!

cause its time for another dog pile!

there's enough love to go around as these little guys figure out life on the farm

and life in a new family with older brothers...

In the end, here we are!  All 13 of us...and counting, our oldest son and his wife are pregnant

...with a BOY!  (we think!)

There is no question about it, boys are a special breed.  Their natural combination of curiosity, endless energy,  and downright cuteness are irresistible and have brought much joy and life to our home through the years.  We strongly recommend giving thanks for and hugs to the boys in your life today!

Managing your own need.

Today brought an interesting devotion from the book of Proverbs.  In the 25th Chapter, Solomon, the man credited with being the wisest man to ever live said these words:

 

It is not good to eat much honey;

So to seek one’s own glory is not glory [at all].

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit

Is like a city broken down, without walls.

 

One of the devasting effects of parental neglect is the development of narcissism.  Psychoanalysist, Heinz Kohut, once spoke much about the development of narcissism.  He concluded that everybody has a narcissistic need and that in normal development these needs are met through empathic parenting.  Primarily through empathy, children develop the skill of self soothing, feeling safe, receive nurturing and develop a sense of well-being in this world.  Without such parenting, narcissism basically goes unchecked, rules the day, and establishes an abyss of emotional need that demands satisfaction, i.e., its all about me, baby!   Those around such a person often avoid contact, run for the exit doors or tend to counter the self-centeredness with rejection and in worse cases, become abusive in efforts to "tame" the narcissistic demands.

 

Kohut's theory never made more sense to me than now.  We have seen first hand the emotional injuries of neglect and the resultant narcissism.  It is one of the more difficult aspects of parenting children who have been neglected.  Watching a child try to meet legitimate needs through narcissistic indulgence is painstakingly difficult and managing your own reactions is tricky.  If you're not careful everyone loses.  The child makes no progress in learning to meet his/her needs and the parents have just either avoided or scolded the child for their demanding behavior...thus, to seek one’s own glory is not glory [at all].    Solomon said it centuries ago.  But he also tips us on how to meet those needs.  It requires that you gain control over your spirit.  We’re talking personal responsibility not only for making good choices, but for meeting one’s own needs in legitimate, healthy ways.  To not do so leaves you without defense or protection, just as a city without walls is subject to invasion.  When you are seeking your own glory, the possibility that you will be met with invaders is increased, resulting not in needs being met, but legitimate needs being plundered and even exploited.   This explains why people who are sensitive to rejection seem to invite that rejection from others.  Seeking your own glory opens up your soul like a broken down city without walls.  You get whatever wanders up and enters in.  Perhaps the sojourner is good for the city, perhaps he is not.  Maybe the need is met, maybe the soul and emotions were exploited and frustrated one more time.  However, the one who rules over his or her own spirit is not so.  They let in what they know will be good for the city!

 

But then the question comes, "exactly how to do teach a child to rule over his own spirit?"  Particularly a child that has experienced such disappointment and whose sense of well-being has been shaken to the core.  To that we say, "stay tuned, we'll get back to you on that one!"  We know it has to do with consistency, emphasizing personal responsibility from each child, the importance of the truth, unconditional love from parents and establishing meaningful relationships.  Perhaps it requires other things as well.  If you've got an idea, let us hear from you!  We'd welcome the input!  Until next time...

Life's Audible at the Line of Scrimmage.

I'm not much of a football fan and I'm not terribly versed on the rules and lexicon of the game.  I do understand that plays are called in a huddle, the team breaks the huddle and heads for an imaginery line draw across the field even with the football and that this line is called the "line of scrimmage".  The quarterback then settles behind this great big guy who usually looks like for all the world that he's about to split out his pants and proceeds to bark out a bunch of nonsense "codes" and at some point in this strange sequence the guy who's about split out his pants snaps the ball back to the quarterback and the play starts.  But sometimes the quarter gets real uncomfortable with what he sees across that line and he calls what is known as an "audible".  This is when the quarterback decides to not go with the plan devised in the huddle and instead, switch the play right there in the middle of the action.  This past weekend, life called an audible on our family and man did it turn out to be a winning play!

Annually the male types on our family have gone on our "Boys Club Campout".  All the men and boys get together somewhere in the wilderness equipped with camping gear and plenty of good eats that are shared throughout the weekend, While the women and girls get together at our home for their own fun. We stand around a campfire much of the weekend, hike through woods and mountains, and generally give our best Daniel Boone impression before returning home to the women in our lives smelling like the great out of doors among other things!  This weekend the event for the guys was to be held at a state park nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains in upstate South Carolina.  Our oldest son, Jason, went a day early to enjoy some R&R along with his 90 lbs German Shepard, Max.  The rest of us guys got up Saturday and began our journey to meet Jason and Max for the weekend in the park. We were all en route when the phone rang.  It was Jason letting us know that a heavy rain had set in, flooding the campsite, soaking everything he had, and that perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to follow through as planned.  The "audible" was called and we decided to all invade the women folk back at our home in southeastern North Carolina.  Throughout the afternoon car loads of rugged warriors waylaid by the weather arrived at our house. 

Afternoon gave way to evening as everyone settled in to plan and prepare meals for what turned out to be 14 family members in our home.  People were laughing, playing and enjoying the time together as the meal was being prepared.  We realized that all of our children were present in our house, which is actually a fairly rare event.  But our four new children along with the others we've been loving for years were all present. Including our daughter in law (who is with child) and our soon to be son in law. In that moment we realized that God had orchestrated a wonderful time for our family to enjoy.  It was a "Little House on the Prairie" moment as we watched the new kids playing and interacting well with the older ones and the older ones enjoying one another as well as the new kids.  All were laughing, playing and there was such a strong sense of well-being and safety that permeated the atmosphere of our home.


The teasing and talks of who prayed for the rain went on and on......Was it Jason, the devout Carolina fan who was going up against Kentucky on Sunday? or was it Russell, the devout Kentucky fan? Could it have been Chris, the soon to be son in law, joining the camp out for the first time? Rumors had it that there would be an initiation into the family :)...he certainly had ample motivation to pray this one a wash out!  Or, was it Karen, who was supposed to be home with the four new kids for the weekend?  Or maybe it was just one of those collective unconscious things that moved Heaven to intervene for the good of the entire tribe.  

Whatever the cause, we could not have planned it any better if we had tried.   Children gathered literally from all over the country, having fun, enjoying the magnanimous blessing of family and all the best that offers us and there was the blessed peace of God and deep down joy that comes when you know that the Heavenly Father is watching over His children with great satisfaction.  The audible was called and the play generated huge gain.   We look forward to many more such moments.  Thanks to each of you for letting us share it with you today!

REVERSE THE CURSE!

Feelings are such a fickle thing.  One minute they tickle your fancy and the next they shake you at the core of your being. Adoption can stir them like a whisk stirs a cake mix!  Its been a little over a week since we received our 4 new children.  What a week its been.  We are feeling the need to be transparent about our adoption on this blog, knowing that many readers are either (a) parents thinking about adoption who need to understand some fundamental truth and emotion around adoption, or (b) already adoptive parents who will know when we are “shooting the bull”!  So for better or for worse we’ve decided to make our posts as transparent as possible without violating focus on the reason why we did this to begin with:  the deep, abiding conviction that God is calling His people to care for and win an enter generation of orphans for the Kingdom of God.  No matter what happens we are very much aware that we are simply “pinch hitting” for God here on earth with our children.

With that said, let us try to sum up our first week.  There are certain words that come to mind when we think of this week:  chaos is one.  Overwhelmed at times another.  Other descriptors include perpetual energy and perpetual crisis.  Yet others include needy, crying, broken keepsakes, interruption, screaming, stubbornness,and movement (lots of it).  But then there are some smiles, occasional moments of contentment, and laughter.

The reader may wonder at this point why in the world would anyone want all of this?  It’s a legitimate question.  We have asked ourselves the same question.  In fact, yesterday in my prayer time (driving in my car to an appointment) I (Russell) found myself a little overwhelmed, despairing and maybe even a little self-pity about the situation.  I asked the Lord to refocus me on why we did this.  That refocus came last night while reading Spirit of Adoption by Randy Bohlender.  He brought out an interesting point about the very last words in the Old Testament in the book of Malachi, which just happened to precede 400 years of God’s silence.  Those words tell us that before that great day of the coming of the Lord that the hearts of the fathers would turn to the children and the hearts of children would turn toward the fathers.  But as Randy points out, there were a few more words tacked on to the end of this prophecy.  “Lest I strike the land with a curse”.  The Old Testament ends with this beautiful prophetic picture, but also with a warning. 

We chose to enter adoption because we felt the call to do it.  We knew that the process would require battle and to some extent, we knew the process of raising the children would require battle.  Every time one of our new children, ages 2,3,4 and 7, ask us “Are you going to take us back to the shelter?” we understand the battle all over again (its been a common question this week).  It’s the same question that many of us Christians ask our Heavenly Father:   Are You going to disappoint us all over again?  Is it when I yell and scream?  Or maybe its when I don’t do what I’m told.  Or maybe its just because I’m too difficult, unlovable and needy that will send me back to the shelter this time.  It’s a question coming from the innocent, but war-torn, broken spirit of a child that wonders if there is anything in this world that can be trusted.  We have the chance, no the privilege, to answer that question with a resounding “No. You’re not going back to the shelter.  You are with us now forever!”  Its the same answer God gives His children:  No, you're not going back to darkness, no man can pluck you out of My hand now!  (see John 10:29).

Over the next few weeks we will be making some candid posts about what its like to adopt 4 sibling children at one time all who function on a social, emotional and behavioral age of about 2 years old.  We promise that we will be open, for better or worse, richer or poorer, about the pros and cons of such a decision.  We recommend that all Christians become involved in adoption is some tangible, direct way.  Start by reading Randy’s book Spirit of Adoption.  We must reverse the curse! 

We close this blog with a request.  If you are reading this blog and are blessed or in any way touched or affected by it, we'd love to hear from you.  Please leave us a comment and let us know who you are and where you're from, and your thoughts.  Perhaps you have been through adoption and have a story to tell.  We're all ears!  Just leave us a note!

God bless you! 

Our Visit

We have just returned from our trip where we met our 4 new children.  Words cannot express the experience of meeting these 4 precious kids and the journey that we have taken in order to find them.  Some of that journey has been chronicled on this blog and it is only fitting that we try to convey the experience of meeting them for the first time.  Keep in mind, we have a girl age 7, and three boys, ages 4, 3 and 2.  Let me set the scene for you a little bit.  We spend 2 hours in a room with 8-10 workers who have cared for these children off and on over the past few years.  While we are enjoying hearing about the kids, we are chomping at the bit to meet the kids.  We are ushered to a place where the children have been cared for over a number of months and then further escorted into what appeared to be a small playroom with a one-way mirror streching completely across one of the walls.  There are a few toys, games and a small table in the middle of the room, as well as a couch.  We take a seat on the couch while one of the workers instructs us to remain seated while she goes in the back to get our children.  The tension is mounting as we anticipate this much awaited moment.  A few moments slip by and then we begin to hear children talking in the distance.  Their voices are getting louder and it is obvious that they are making their way to us.  The voices get even louder and it now approximates some kind of kid tsunami pressing toward us.  The door swings open and the four children, led by the eldest, come running into the room with their arms wide open and smiles on their faces!  It was a special moment that was both wonderful and awkward.  Their excitement gave way to pure, unbridled energy running untamed throughout this small room.  Games began to fly off the shelf, cupboards were emptied of stuffed animals and the 2 year old took to climbing up the furniture faster than we could introduce ourselves!  In a matter of minutes we were caught up in the pandamonium and found ourselves in "clean and safety" mode.  All the time the workers, now seated behind the one-way mirror, observe the interaction.  This went on for the better part of an hour or two.  The time in the room gave way to the suggestion that we take the children to dinner.  We had already determined that we would take the 4 children to Chuck E Cheese's and turn them loose...a decision we came to question some hours later.

Now fast forward to Chuck E Cheese.  Thank God we had our 22 year old daughter Julie, Karen's parents and Jeffrey (10 year ) with us.  We hit the door with these children and off they went like a squirrel tanked out on caffeine!  They went from one thing to another faster than any human being could possibly shadow.  We decided to not try to keep up with any one of them and instead surround the perimeter with a zone defense of sorts.  That is to say, we shouted across the game room warning each other that one of the children was about to enter their zone so they were now responsible for them!  This went on for 2 hours and the little tykes were like Everyready Bunnies...they just kept going and going and going.  More than once I asked myself what we had gotten into.  As Julie said at one point, she felt like she should go to the management and explain what was going on.  But when you've harkened to a Higher voice and leading, He shows up not only to calm your fears but illuminate your path.  We'd like to share that illumination if you will indulge us a moment.

As I (Russell) watched these children running completely unrestrained, undisciplined, loud and totally hyperactive across the game floor at Chuck E Cheese, I was reminded of a story told by one of my mentors in psychology.  Her story was one of a man who got on a subway train in New York City with 7 children.  He quietly assumed his seat while his 7 children rain wildly throughout the subway train, jumping on seats, hanging from the windows and screaming loudly.  All the time the man just sat there quietly and seemingly oblivious to his children's behavior.  Finally, a passenger who was obviously irritated with the children's behavior and the man's lack of discipline, stood up and approached the man.  In the most judgmental of ways, the passenger began to scold the man for his poor parental skills and apparent indifference to his kids' behavior.  All the while the man never responded or even acknowledged the passenger's words which further escalated the tension and agitation.  Finally, the passenger blurted out in pure frustration, "What are you thinking?  What's the matter with these barbaric kids?!"  The man slowly raised his gaze and replied, "We just came from the hospital where their mother just lost her 2 year battle with cancer".  Nothing else was said as the passenger returned to be seated. 

John 7:24 Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.”

Our knee jerk reaction, as humans, is not so much unlike that of the passenger.  Its easy to pass judgment when you don't know the circumstances.  We understood where our children were coming from even if the other patrons didnt. The next day we took the children to the mall. First stop was build a bear where they each made their own bear and kind of took over the store like a whirlwind and then to ride the carousel and eat dinner. All the while getting strange looks from everyone who passed by us. The children spent the night with us at the hotel and we all went down for breakfast the next morning. Again, they come in with so much energy and excitement at everything they do and again we get the strange looks and feel the judgments glaring at us. By the second morning in the hotel, the kids knew their way around and knew what they wanted for breakfast. As we all sat eating together, a lady approached me (Karen) and told me about her sister who had 6 kids and is pregnant with her 7th. She shared that she only had 3 and stopped at that. I knew the unspoken part of the woman's inquiry as the kids went whizzing by in a blur. It would have been easy to share why we were there and explain the energy the kids had.   But instead of responding with defense, I simply said, "I have 9".  The lady didn't have much else to say and Julie noted the surprise in the eyes of our new 7 year old daughter as she heard my response.  It was if she knew the routine: somebody trying to explain her behavior and in the process distance themselves from her lack of social grace.  Instead, maybe for the first time, she had felt the warm, gentle embrace of acceptance in her life that each of us human beings long for. I had to think that maybe God feels that way about us at times. Maybe He would like to explain our behavior or say "give them time, they will adjust" or maybe he would like to say to the church that is passing judgment on a new christian that they are new to this and need some love and acceptance. He doesnt explain us, He doesnt distance himself from us, He accepts us! Just as we are.

God uses all kinds of things to reveal His kingdom to a man or woman.  Whether its parting a sea or calming a storm or spitting in some dirt so that He can make a mud pie that heals blind eyes, He will find a way to speak a language that you can hear.  For us, He continues to use this miracle process of adoption to reveal His kingdom to us.  As we drove some 20 hours back from seeing our new children, we wondered if God isn't a little like we were watching these little children jet propel everywhere they went?  We wanted to gather these children, who have never known the stability of a home, in our arms and just say, "You don't need that behavior anymore.  You're found, you're loved, you're safe and you don't need to wonder or stress about where its coming from.  We've got you now, you're home!"  All of us have spent our share of time running through life wondering where its coming from...the love, the security, even the next resource to pay a bill when all along God had us in His sites saying, "You don't need that behavior anymore, you're found, you're loved, and you're safe with Me!"  Its what Jesus was trying to show us when He said, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."  He didn't say stop running around or clean up your act, He just said "come".  We so look forward to our children joining us very, very soon and see how God shows up to meet all our needs as individuals and as a family.   

"I'm getting my forever family!"

We are so excited that we could not sleep last night.  The children have been told about us and their reaction was so overwhelming, particularly the oldest…”oh! I’m getting my forever family!”, she said. She wanted to know everybody’s names and what her room looked like.  It was hard to fight back the tears.  There was such a strong parental instinct that something of great value had just been found.  All the struggles that we’ve encountered along the way gave way to an overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement that children had just “found their way home”.  Later on in the evening we again became overwhelmed with a simple thought:  how we felt in that moment of hearing of the joy of a child who had found her home was exactly how our Heavenly Father feels when someone finds their way home to Him!  For a brief moment, feeling the heart of God toward His children, we see God revealing a fundamental truth....  Adoption is not just about giving a child a bigger room, a nicer meal or better clothes, it is an expression of God’s heart....It is a living, breathing, manifest representation of what happens when a man, woman or child finds his or her way to their Heavenly Father....there is a Heavenly joy released as the Father welcomes His created child into His arms.  Adoption is the tangible expression of what Jesus was trying to communicate to His followers in Luke 15:10 when He said "Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

This morning we sit here planning our trip to meet our 4 new children for the first time!  While waiting continues to be difficult, we have been busy preparing rooms, remodeling bathrooms, and working in the yard.  It is a version of the "Nesting Response" we suppose.  But whatever, its fun and the anticipation of receiving these 4 children into our home and hearts grows stronger as we prepare to travel very soon!  Did I say, "very soon?"  The words came off my keyboard and mouth, but they seem unreal.  We've been at this adoption thing for so long that we've become accustomed to thinking of this in the "fantasy" of our minds vs. the reality of our home.  But here we are, and like the children on a long trip saying "are we there yet?" for the fourteenth million time, the answer is finally YES, or at least so close that it is moving beyond the fantasy and into the "really, its just around the next corner!"  Speaking of children, we have noticed an increase of excitement and anticipation from our children as well.  The older are rearranging schedules to make sure they meet their new brothers and sister as soon as we get them, while the 10 year old is now planning games, events, and outings for his new siblings.  Until then, be blessed...

Warrior Arrows

Some of you may have noticed a change in our blog.  Specifically, we have changed our name from "Boys in the Bulrush" to "Warrior Arrows".  Today, we'd like to explain the change.  When we began our journey on the path to adoption, we didn't know where to start.  We looked at dozens of options and agencies before deciding to pursue 2 special needs children from China.  Once on the path, we wanted to name our blog something that would reflect the idea of a journey that found 2 boys hidden in some disguised place, but nonetheless, there for us to find and welcome into our home.  The mental picture we had was of Moses in the Old Testament, when his mother floated him down the river and his floatation device came to rest in the bulrush where he was found and essentially adopted into the king's court.

As we have shared, for various reasons, we were unable to continue on the path to adopting these boys from China and we shifted our efforts to finding a sibling group in the United States.  Recently we were selected for a group of 4 siblings in the midwest and are now waiting to travel to meet them, hopefully some time in the next week or two.  The sibling group is comprised of a girl and 3 boys, so the mental picture of 2 boys in the bulrush began to break down a little bit.  This past week a new mental picture began to emerge in our mind based on Psalm 127:3-5 which says

 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth.

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

We have always loved that verse and having our 'quiver full' of our own children. As we began to think of adding more arrows to our quiver through adoption, we felt like this was a perfect name for our blog. People have said that we are crazy for adopting 4 children at this point of our life.  And to that, we say, "yeah, we know.  We can give you a 1,000 reasons why we shouldn't adopt 4 children".  But then we continue..."we can give you 1 good reason why we should..."  Do you know what that reason is?  We believe that it is absolutely an honor and the most thrilling adventure that life has to offer to be a part of a child's life and have the opportunity to introduce them to the Kingdom of God and Jesus.  And here we are, totally blessed with 4 more!  Four more children that we can tell about God's love and the special place they hold in His heart!  Four more children in our quiver who are warrior arrows in the Kingdom of God.

Does life get any better, we ask?  What will it be like to stand before God our Father one day knowing that we had answered His call, sought Him for guidance, and introduced not only our biological children to Jesus, but these 4 as well.  Crazy?  Perhaps.  But life never really promised that everything would make sense...only that we would be accompanied by the King of the entire universe and that He desires to penetrate this world with His love.  We'll talk so more in the coming days about the thrill and why its so important to us.  Until we talk again...

Hope and Fulfillment

I must start today's blog with a passage from Proverbs.  Proverbs 13:12 says that, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life".  Many times I have quoted the first part of that.  I usually said it when I felt that life wasn't giving me what I wanted, when I wanted it.  It was sort of a way to say to God, "Hey, come on.  Answer my prayer, already!"  The ole "hope deferred" line also represented a certain frustration with life, not to mention a feeling of entitlement.  Historically speaking, none of those thoughts, feelings and even attempts to manipulate the heavens ever seemed to make much difference in the outcomes.  But today, I am reminded that life does, in fact, provide its moments when our desires are realized and something good comes our way.  My devotion this morning was from Psalm 35 and I noticed that in a difficult time David reminds himself that God does take pleasure in the "prosperity" of His children.  We wake up this morning with this wonderful feeling of having a desire to come to us.  Yesterday, we were informed that we have been selected to adopt 4 beautiful children pending one more interview that seems to be fairly perfunctory.  Finally!  After several years, the last 15 months of which have been up and down, we have found our kids!  Suddenly, life is full of energy and our hearts feel a sense of gratitude that God has placed this burden on our hearts to adopt and has now fulfilled that burden.  Although we are facing a few more weeks of waiting, administrative activities and of course, paperwork, we are finally going to receive our 4 new little blessings.  We could go on right now describing this moment and how it feels, but well save that for future posts over the next couple of days.  Until we talk again....