Friday, August 20, 2010

Emotional Roller Coaster

The past six weeks or so of our adoption process have been a complete roller coaster ride for our family. Through the ups and downs we have had some major changes in our adoption. First off, We have exceeded our time frames for the China adoption and it seems that we have reached an impasse.  We will not be getting these two boys from China. That in itself was an emotional let down. Some where in China sit two little boys that have been a part of our life and thoughts and prayers for the past year. They dont even know it but they have a room here and a dresser full of clothes and tons of toys and decorations picked out just for them. They have been prayed for every day by us and our extended family as well. They have been named and thought of during family games and activities. They were truly a part of our family even though we never actually met them. They will never know that for the past year, they have had a family. Not being able to add them to our family is like having a miscarriage. It is heartbreaking and discouraging and even though we have had some down times and felt all these things we still have a peace and know that God is in control. For what ever reason this was not meant to be. Maybe our part was simply to pray for them every day for  this past year and we may never know what difference that may have made in their lives. As we have said before, our approach to adopting was simply to "take the next positive step that we knew to take".  While we grieve that we have reached an impasse for the China adoption, we rejoice that God is opening new doors.  To our surprise, the next positive step has brought us to exploring domestic adoptions.  Our homestudy is now complete for a domestic adoption and we are in the seeking phase.  We know God has kids out there somewhere that are to be a part of our family, our job now is to find them!  Pray for us as we take our next positive step!