Emotional Roller Coaster

The past six weeks or so of our adoption process have been a complete roller coaster ride for our family. Through the ups and downs we have had some major changes in our adoption. First off, We have exceeded our time frames for the China adoption and it seems that we have reached an impasse.  We will not be getting these two boys from China. That in itself was an emotional let down. Some where in China sit two little boys that have been a part of our life and thoughts and prayers for the past year. They dont even know it but they have a room here and a dresser full of clothes and tons of toys and decorations picked out just for them. They have been prayed for every day by us and our extended family as well. They have been named and thought of during family games and activities. They were truly a part of our family even though we never actually met them. They will never know that for the past year, they have had a family. Not being able to add them to our family is like having a miscarriage. It is heartbreaking and discouraging and even though we have had some down times and felt all these things we still have a peace and know that God is in control. For what ever reason this was not meant to be. Maybe our part was simply to pray for them every day for  this past year and we may never know what difference that may have made in their lives. As we have said before, our approach to adopting was simply to "take the next positive step that we knew to take".  While we grieve that we have reached an impasse for the China adoption, we rejoice that God is opening new doors.  To our surprise, the next positive step has brought us to exploring domestic adoptions.  Our homestudy is now complete for a domestic adoption and we are in the seeking phase.  We know God has kids out there somewhere that are to be a part of our family, our job now is to find them!  Pray for us as we take our next positive step!

Happy Father's Day to each of you dad's out there!

Happy Father's Day to each of you dad's out there!  
I've played on championship athletic teams, walked across the stage to receive my doctoral diploma, and even jumped off a 40-foot railroad bridge into a Tennessee river (not smart, do not try this at home!), but nothing has ever been more thrilling than being a father...and I am serious when I say that, nothing!

I will never forget each time I first laid eyes on my children and felt the amazement of a new life.  The joy that I felt and continue to feel as they have grown is comparable to no other feeling in the world.  Baby's first steps, the first time they said that magical word (Daddy!), "Boys Club Weekends" and the annual Nutcracker recital are memories that, like the commercial says, "ARE PRICELESS"!

But what if?  Now that Karen & I are a little older, we have begun to realize that what we took for granted in our own childhood and what we've been able to pass on to our children, was not the life that every child has been granted.  Not every child has been fortunate enough to have a mom and/or dad to play with them, tuck them in at night, play ball with them or hug them when they hurt on the inside.  Unfortunately, there are some children who will never have a home and be a part of a family.

Some have fathered, but not all are fathers.  In my work as a psychologist, I often work with behaviorally troubled young adolescent males.  To my amazement, the modern day right-of-passage seems to be to father a child.  One 16 year old boy with whom I worked, had fathered 2 children already, had one girlfriend pregnant and was looking to find another willing partner at the time he was in my office!  He spent no time with any of his children, offered them no financial support, and provided no model of responsible living whatsoever.  He fathered children, but provided virtually nothing in terms of being a father.

The innocent pay the price.  While this boy was an extreme, who pays the price?  Unfortunately, it is the child who is left to face a world that offers very little support and personal care.  The foster care system is overrun with these children and orphanages all over the world are trying their best to provide for their basic needs. 

Be a part of something special this Father's Day.  As you know, Karen & I are in the process of adopting 2 of these children.  Both have spent their entire 7 years on this earth in orphanages.  Both want more than anything a family to call their own.  Both face prescribed, dismal futures should they not find their heart's desire.  But before this can happen, Karen & I must raise some $35,000 to finish the adoption.  Of that, $7,500 is due immediately.  After much thought and deliberation, we've decided to appeal to each of you for help.  In exchange, for your help, we are making available a very special Father's Day offer.

At the urging of our website and marketing manager, we are offering the following special offers for anyone making a donation this Father's Day weekend:

Anyone making a donation of $10 or more will receive Dr. Thomas' Turbo Charged Childhood eBook (a $14.95 value) AND Dr. Thomas'Weekly Inspirational Thoughts for Parents & Teachers of ADHD Children eBook (a $9.95 value).

Donations of $50 or more will receive the gifts mentioned above as well as Dr. Thomas' NEW book entitled "12 Pillars and a Prayer: God's Secrets to Success, Prosperity, and Wealth"* (see details below).

Donations of $100 or more will receive hard copies of both "Turbo Charged Childhood" and "12 Pillars and a Prayer: God's Secrets to Success, Prosperity, and Wealth", each personally inscribed by Dr. Russell Thomas.

These books are valuable resources for anyone's library.  Turbo Charged Childhood is full of non-medicine interventions for those challenged with attention deficit.  Written from a distinctively Christian perspective, 12 Pillars and a Prayer is for anyone who has ever had financial challenges, i.e., pretty much everyone!  In 12 Pillars and a Prayer I tackle the question of "Does God really you to be successful, prosperous and wealthy"?  I think you will find both books to be easy, enjoyable reading that stimulates you to think outside of the box for both attention deficits and your finances!
 

I would like to close by inviting you to be a part of something special this Father's Day Weekend.  Make a difference to 2 young boys' lives and at the same time enjoy 2 of my special books!  Won't you please go to:

 

http://www.simplesolutions4.com/

and make a donation today?  The need is immediate and with your help we can make this a very special father's day!  Please share this opportunity with anyone that you think might benefit from my books by forwarding this email on to them.

Until we talk again, have a great Father's Day and I would that you prosper and be in good health,

"Beam me up, Scotty!"

"Beam me up, Scotty!" was the popular quote from the infamous Star Trek TV series.  The words were usually spoken when Captain Kirk was in a quandary and needed rescuing before some alien being consumed him in one fatal swoop.  We can relate right now.  The seemingly endless run of documents, follow up phone calls, and fundraisers dominate our lives right now.  No more do we finish with one set when another is due.  There was a point this week where we thought we saw some daylight at the end of the adoption tunnel.  The only thing that we can do is put our head down and keep running.  So we take it one day at a time, one form at a time, one fundraiser at a time and all the while remember why we are doing this.  We can only say, "help us bring our boys home!"  Until next time.

Cruise Control

This week has been one of "cruise control".  We have completed many documents and are now waiting from responses from various agencies.  The home study site visit is completed and we await final production of the home study report.  There is much done but much else to do.  The reality of bringing these boys into our home is starting to become a part of life and we just wish it was sooner than it is.  But at least there is a sense that we are making some progress at this point.  We are putting together another round of fundraisers throughout June and July.  It feels like were at this long straight stretch in the road where we just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep running for the prize!  Until another day...

Running the Race

This week has been a wonderful week!  The saying is that flowers don't grow without rain and people don't grow without challenges.  What that means for us is that we grew leaps and bounds this week!  The home study site visit is in the books and we completed a myriad of forms and paperwork.  While we are somewhat exhausted and weary right now, we also have the assurance that everything is as it should be and that God is in control of our adoption, not to mention lives!  We're at that point of the race where we've covered some ground, enough to feel a little exhaustion, but still have much race left.  If you look too far ahead there is a sense of being overwhelmed.  So the thing to do is to break down the race into smaller "chunks" of tasks.  This next week we accomplish several "next things" on the task list.  Then, this time next week those things are completed and we're that much closer to getting our boys.  When I (Russell) get to feeling a little exasperated with the process, I simply go into the boys' room that Karen has so wonderfully prepared for them,(see previous post) and I get a different feeling.  Its one where I imagine the boys being in there safe, happy and part of our family and I get a sense of peace and joy...until next time...

Homestudy

Its been a long process and one that has required a combination of endurance, patience and focus.  Because we are adopting 2, basically all our paperwork has been doubled.  It seems like such a cumbersome process and we often find ourselves either overwhelmed or exhausted with the process. Its tempting to just take some kind of “lesser route” at times, but we know what God has spoken to our hearts so we ask for perseverance and strength to run the race.

This week we will have our long awaited homestudy.  We ask that you pray for us as we complete the homestudy and that the process may move forward quickly.  Our complete dossier must be to China by July 15th.  This is now a tight deadline.

DAY 21 FAST:

Today is the much anticipated end of our fast.  Its funny though, we have very much ambivalent feelings about it.  There’s no question that its been tough at times.  Accomplishment and achievement requires that of a man or woman.  The journey has been nothing short of spectacular.  Between the four of us, we have lost some 40 lbs and we feel great!   Mentally and emotionally we feel strengthened.  One of the major benefits of this fast is the restoration of will.  There is a renewed sense that we have the necessary discipline and strength necessary to move into the next phase of our lives.  Spiritually, the breakthroughs have come in the past 23-48 hours.  I (Russell) have been asking God for a “strategy” or a path in my work and career.  I feel that I have gotten that strategy and we are in full agreement as to how to proceed.  Our spirits are like spring plants that were parched from the sun but just got nourished from a refreshing shower. What was feeling wilted is now nourished and there are blooms on our vines just waiting to bring forth fruit.  So, our DANIEL FAST comes to end today with a “Daniel Friendly Meal” plus Salmon and/or a small portion of a New York Strip Steak. Nothing drastic, as we don’t want to return to the land of grease, sugar, and junk.  We will continue with water as the primary drink and establish a new eating habit.  But most of all, we will cherish the closer feeling that exists amongst our family for having done this together. 

And oh yeah, the adoption!  We are feeling the closeness of getting our boys as Home Study is scheduled one week from today. We are busy preparing for that event.  The expectation is that things will begin to pick up significantly at this point. 

We’ll keep you posted.  We’re going to continue blogging daily for a while to keep you up to date on the longer range results of our Daniel Fast.  We suspect that we have yet to realize all the impact the last 21 days have on our lives.  Until tomorrow…

Day 19

DAY 19 FAST:  Today was a strange battle, a mixed bag of sorts.  We have to speak of the spiritual implications of this fast today.  While most of our posts have spoken to the physical impact and how we felt while dramatically altering the foods we eat, today the emphasis switches to the spiritual and mental aspects of our fast.  If any of our readers are not familiar with the spiritual roots of our fast, read Daniel 10.  The crux of the story is that Daniel was trying to understand something very important.  He was trying to discern the times and gain a greater measure of insight about his life and the lives of those people he cared about.  In essence, he was facing hard times and he was trying understand the way out.  What does he do to try to calm down the “noise” in his head and heart?  He “eats no pleasant food, no meat or wine…” for 21 days.  This is what we’ve been doing.  The process of adoption had become laborious and obstructed and we were trying to understand.  Now on Day 19, our focus has turned to more of a spiritual dimension.

Day 19 simply put has been a battle.  A battle defined by will.  Our minds and bodies grow weary of the discipline and there is temptation to “call off the dogs”.  And yet, the way is not yet clear.  It feels like there is tremendous fight, beyond just the temptation of breaking the fast.  The body grows week and there is a combination of weariness, sadness and irritation.  At any given point, we can be experiencing any one of these in full intensity.  But there is something inside that says the “Glory is in the Garden”.  Translated, that means that before Jesus was raised from the dead in all the Glory of that event, He first sweat drops of blood in the garden.  Today has been the garden and it has taken every ounce of energy we could muster to maintain course.  But there is a feeling that what comes after the garden is a clear path and an entering into a new, liberating life.  We’ll talk more in days to come about that part, but for now, I’m exhausted and need to lay down!...

Day 18

DAY 18 FAST:  Today is a different day.  We can’t believe that we have been abstaining from so many things that have been a part of our diet basically all our lives.  No meat, no sugar, no bread, and no dairy products or eggs for almost 3 weeks!  And the thing is, we feel healthy and sharp and good.  Yes, we miss some of those things, but the feeling of completing this fast for 3 weeks and exercising our will power over these things have given us back a sense of control and confidence.  Today, we begin to feel as though some of the things that we have been praying about are taking a perspective and a path is opening to us.  There is a renewed sense of purpose and, for lack of a better word, life that is operating.  The air has a certain crispness, there are brilliant colors and the season of our life seems to be pregnant with possibilities and hope.  For the first time, it seems that we are truly getting closer to having our boys home from China with us.  We are doing things daily to prepare for their arrival.  There is a wonderful atmosphere of anticipation today that we simply pause and enjoy.  Until Day 19…

Day 16

DAY 16 FAST:  Day 16 we continue to be steady.  What was once a disciplined effort has now become routine.  In terms of eating, we have found ourselves thinking about various foods that we used to eat and they sound good.  We've talked about everything from cookies to pizza.  But the idea of actually eating them is a bit more hazy now as we are in no hurry to return to unhealthy eating.  Physically we feel too good, strong and have gained tremendous benefit from the Daniel Fast too quickly return to our old eating habits.  Mentally, there is always a sense of self-control and gaining back some “will power” that comes from fasting. The Daniel Fast is no different.  We have felt satisfaction and strength of mind that has come from sticking with the fast this long. It is a mental strength that generalizes to other activities as well, i.e., getting paperwork finished, making that call, doing those minute things each day that are a pain, etc.  Spiritually, there is a sense of freshness and as if the fog is starting to lift and we can see clearly again.  Its amazing how much clearer and alive the Bible becomes when you are quieting your earthly vessel and soul, so that the still small voice can be heard.  Until Day 17, be blessed…

Day 15

Today we write and feel exhausted.  We’re tired of eating rice, beans and bananas!  But we do it anyway.  I’m tired of not reading a good story from the sports page, but I abstain anyway.  We’re tired of filling out paper after paper for the adoption and feeling like Karen & I are all alone in this process but we take heart again anyway.  We’re tired of wondering where the money is coming from, but we keep believing anyway.  We’re tired of this whole Daniel fast thing, but I do it anyway.  We’re just tired of disciplining ourselves.  We are where Jesus was when he was praying in the garden.  Not the glory part, but rather the gory part. We understand though, without the gory, there is no glory.  There will be an end to this exhausting process and we know it.  But for the moment, we wonder why did this.  All that said and today, we look at each other for just a moment and notice that Jeffrey looks healthy and vibrant, Russell has lost over 10 lbs and Karen glows like a bride.  Karen bought some clothes for our new boys today and we got excited all over again about having them join our family.  There is something to be said for discipline and waiting…I just can’t seem to find those words right now though.  I’m too tired to think!  Until Day 16…

The Daniel Fast

Today we are writing about something that is happening in our lives that to us, is both unique and special.  No, its not about the adoption of our boys, although that certainly qualifies as unique and special to us.  This is a very unique experience in which Karen,  Julie, (our 22 yr old) Jeffrey (our 10 year old) and I have been participating for the last 10 days.  Its called a Daniel Fast.  Fasting is not new to us we have long used the practice of fasting to discern the times and seasons, as well as, provide valuable direction for living.   Its something Karen and I do when we need to calm our mind, emotions, body and spirit down when things in life are whirling too fast.  However, Fasting as a family and the Daniel Fast in particular is new to us.

 

Daniel, as you know, fasted all pleasurable foods and ate basically fruits and veggies or anything coming from a seed for 21 days.  The results were extremely powerful for Daniel and actually changed the course of a nation.  We weren't necessarily trying to change a nation, but we did feel some struggles needing a little extra to resolve.  So beginning April 19th, we began this journey. Eating only fruits, vegetables, grains, legumes and drinking water. Basically, fasting meats and sweets. What a journey it has been. 

 

We are now on Day 11 of our Daniel Fast.  It has been a huge blessing for us.  We feel better physically, mentally and spiritually.  There have been times when we wanted to take the easy way out and just order pizza, but Karen has diligently prepared foods each day that were consistent with our fast.  There is an excitement about what we're doing and more importantly, what God is doing in our lives that permeates our home.  We can sense that something special is happening and we look forward to completing the next 10 days strong, as our physical health is strengthened, our mental functions  made sharper, and our spirits being fine tuned to Heaven's frequency!  

Walk a Thon Fundraiser

It has been a while since we last posted.  We have been diligently fulfilling what seems to be an unending wave of paperwork.  We don't want to the belabor the point of paperwork, in fears that we might dissuade others who may be considering adoption, but keep in mind that many parts of our adoption are doubled because we are adopting 2 children.  Otherwise, we're making progress, having completed 10 hours of online parent training per Hague Treaty Agreement, gathered numerous documents and completed numerous forms.  

Yesterday was the Walk a Thon and it was wonderful!  Thank you Torie, who  organized, conducted  and raised money for us! It was wonderful to go to Wrightsville Beach and participate in the event.  It continues to blow our minds how God has brought so many others into this process to bless and encourage us.  We hope to have all of our home study  completed very soon.

Until next time...

Adoption T-shirts

The New T-Shirt designs are available! Thanks to a dear friend who designed them for us! Check them out by clicking on our Cafepress shop at the right and then click on "Adoption Shirts" to see all the designs available. Not only will you have a nice shirt to wear with a great message that will help others understand adoption but you will be helping us bring our boys home as well. Thanks for looking!

Timelines and Fundraisers....

At some point, you know that the pace is going to pick up.  After spending 6-8 weeks feeling static and like we'd hit a wall, a recent email unclogged all the pipes in an instant.  In that email, we were informed that we are on a time line for getting our boys.  While we knew that special needs adoptions were a little different, we were unaware that our time line was coming up so soon.   Now, its a daunting task of raising money, not just for one adoption, but for two.  We have pulled out all the stops as we will be raising almost $40,000 in the next 8 weeks!  While this stretches our faith in ways that we've never done before, we know in our hearts that our path has been ordered and our Father will provide.  So we're rolling up our sleeves and focusing on the task at hand. 

 

If you've adopted, you probably know where we're at right now.  If you haven't, you probably wonder why we would put ourselves through it.  All we can say is, every time we see the boys pictures or view the video of them, we know they are to be part of our family.  All we know is, God never says the journey is "reasonable".  Being "reasonable" about things simply means you're running on your own resources and He's nowhere in the equation.  We know the journey is accompanied by something that goes far beyond your own personal comfort and pushes you into the vast domain of faith!  It is a faith that offers a strange combination of excitement, fear, love, loneliness, comfort, panic, peace, and joy all rolled up into one Divinely blessed experience!   Perhaps you could help us?  Would you consider helping us reach the goal of $40,000 raised by April 30th?  You can give by clicking the button to the right of the blog.

We are hitting the fundraisers hard also, first up is a chicken dinner through our church. If you are local to us why not help support the Adoption Ministry! Be a part of forever changing the life of a child. Express the gift of love shared from one heart to another. Plan to eat lunch with us on the 26th For more info call (910) 285-1977. Your support is greatly appreciated! BARBECUE CHICKEN **BAKED BEANS**POTATO SALAD**DESSERT $5 a plate.

Also, you can still support us by shopping through our Cafepress shop (link at right). And coming soon T-shirts! Adorable adoption shirts will be added to the Cafepress shop soon. Check them out and Help us bring our boys homes.

If you have adopted or raised money for adoption, Please share with us what worked for you. What fundraisers did you use? What was most successful? We would love to hear from you.

 

Until we write again...

 

Storms of various kinds.....

This weekend we got a snow storm in our area. That is very unusual for us. We got around 5-7 inches and enjoyed it for the day. Then it melted just as fast it came. Today starts a new week as we engage in "brain storming" sessions to raise the necessary funds for our adoption. We have been in a brief season of "distraction" that has seen many different situations screaming for our attention. Staying focused has been a challenge but we continue to proclaim the Lord's direction, goodness and provision. On Saturday evening, we celebrated the Chinese New Year in recognition of boys and their cultural heritage. It was a lot of fun, but incomplete as we ate lo mein, potstickers (dumplings) and stir fry, we couldn't help but wish our boys were with us. Somebody once said "Patience is a virtue"....I think its just flat overrated! Until we talk again...Russell & Karen