Reflection

Today's blog focuses on reflection.  I'm not talking about reflection as in looking back at your life and gleaning some insight about why you are what you are and why you behave as you do.  No, I'm talking about reflection as in what you see when you look into a mirror.  I am a firm believer that everything we see here in this world is a reflection of something in another world.  That other world is a spiritual dimension where something beautiful radiates its goodness, light and divine plan into this world.  I often refer to this phenomenon as a "parallel process" between heaven and earth.  It is what drives Karen & I in adoption.

Let me explain.  Recently I was looking out the kitchen window and saw something reflecting off the windshield of my van.  The reflection sparked my attention and I began to look for what was reflecting.  Did I continue to examine the windshield of the van?  Of course not.  I was looking around the sky, the positioning of the street lights and anything but the windshield.  You don't look at the conduit, you look for the source!

Adoption works in a similar way.  When you look into the eyes of a child, especially those who have no parents, there's a flash.  Even in the most obnoxious (just being honest!), unruly, provocative child its there.  That flash.  Sometimes its quick, sometimes you have to be really attentive, but its there.  But what is it?  Its a reflection and like the windshield you don't search for it in the conduit, but rather you look for it in the source!  And its a beautiful thing when you realize that the source is something so loving, so kind, so pure and so innocent that it captivates your senses and melts your tendencies to think only of yourself in this world.

I have heard people say they wanted to see God or have a visitation from Jesus and I understand this desire.  But until we behold Him face to face, perhaps He gives us "flashes" of Himself.  Its a flash in the eyes of a young girl, or the smile on a little boy's face or maybe its the toddler's deep sense of security as they flourish in the safety of a home that is committed to their welfare.

Karen & I saw "the flash" 4 years ago when our children came bursting through the doors of the social workers office.  They were wild as a spring calf kicking up its heels but it was there in their eyes.  It reflected a divine being that overcame any of our fears of trying to parent these children.  We saw it again in the eyes of 2 children who got off to such a rough start in life and wondered if anyone would ever welcome them into their home and heart forever.  When you find the source you find the words "if anyone opens the door, I'll come in".  Its the source, not the conduit, where you plug in your heart.  Its the source that drives you, not the need.  When you tune into that source something magical begins to happen.  It is as if all of heaven pours out into your soul and you want more.

I hope this speaks to the hearts of many readers.  Do you hear what I'm saying?  Yes, Karen & I might be crazy and we've got the video to document it.  But there's a flash.  Can you see it?  Its in the eyes of  the child.  Its in your spouse's embrace.  Its in your prayer closet.  But don't get stuck on the flash.  Let it drive you to seek the Source!

And by the way, thanks to the kindness and prayers of many it looks like we are finally going to meet our new children  in the very, very near future.

Until we talk again....

Good things come to those that wait...

Don't you just hate that saying!  I don't know about you but waiting doesn't really flip my switches.  Recording artist and minister Jake Hamilton has a song that says "The King of Glory always comes at midnight..."  But why for crying out loud?  I wish I could explain it with a brilliance that would reflect an incredible pool of wisdom residing in me.  But I can't.  Such a pool does not exist.  Not in me anyway.  The only thing I know is that He is in control and that He promised. 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't anxious.  Here we are less than than 24 hours before we are to leave and we remain about $5,000 short.  I keep throwing that anxiety back to Him (I Peter 5:7) but like mud on a wall it doesn't seem to stick very long.  So I wind up and throw it again!  And while I find myself on the edge of agitation with the whole thing, I know that He works all things to good and that many, many inner thoughts and yes, fears, have surfaced in me that without the pressure, would never get addressed.  Things like...

• Do I really trust or is my trust limited to things that if I fail its no big deal and the disappointments are small and easy to digest?
• Is my faith strong enough to head out to the mid-west state with only $200 in my account?  
• Is my faith in God or is it in others...or even worse, myself?  
• Does all this speaking the truth in love, declaring His word and clinging have an effect?
• Do the fervent prayers get heard?
• And then the granddaddy of them all...What if I missed it completely and am in the flesh?

These thoughts swirl in my head like a tornado over open land.  Its one thing to sing and sway in the comfortable confines of my home and church but what about when God calls you to step out of the boat and walk on the water?  

While I can't explain all the why's and what-abouts, I can say this:  there is a refuge and a hiding place just like David claimed there was (Ps 25:20; Ps 32:7).  It is found not in what you see but in that place in the soul that is occupied by Him.  It is He who has authored and finished the deal.  So in the midst of pressure, facing an unknown and uncertainty that is not years or months or even weeks away but is right here, right now...I can lift my hands and proclaim "Praise the LORD, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.  [He] who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."  (Ps 103).

So we continue to wait for God to show up and show off.  I do as the old Native American prayer says, and Paul proclaims in Romans 12:9..."cling to that which is good".  So I hug Karen extra tight this morning and take a lesson from my younger children as they excitedly await our departure to meet their new brother and sister.  They aren't worried about a thing:  Dad's got it all under control!

Let me close today by saying that it now seems really appropriate that we introduced this entire adoption thing to others with Billy Joel's "You might be right, I might be crazy" playing in the background. 

But even in the tenseness of the moment I'd rather be found crazy attempting to walk on water at His beckoning, than be found sane in the "safety" of my own logic, playing it safe and living life only for myself!

Keep praying for us.  Until we talk again...