Eden Restored

Today is the 3rd day since we were forced to abandon our trip to the midwest to meet and bring home our new children.  We spent the first day just trying to figure out what just happened and the 2nd day trying to climb back on the horse!  We've now had a chance to rehearse things and a chance to regroup.  And the result?  Climb back on the horse and find a way!  I now want to share with you something from the prophet Ezekiel in chapter 36.  I think there's something here for us.
Ezekiel 36:33-38   Adonai Elohim says, “When the day comes...I will cause the cities to be inhabited and the ruins to be rebuilt.  The land that was desolate will be tilled, whereas formerly it lay desolate for all passing by to see.  Then they will say, “The land that used to be desolate has become like the Garden of Eden, and the cities formerly ruined, abandoned and wasted have been fortified and are inhabited!”  Then the nations around you that remain will know that I, Adonai, have rebuilt the ruins and replanted what was abandoned.  I, Adonai, have spoken; and I will do it!”  ...So will the ruined cities be filled with flocks of people. 
Whenever you feel that God has called you to follow Him and you accept that call, a strange journey will always follow...always!  Certainly Moses got more than he bargained for when the enemy pinned him in at the Red Sea.  Abraham must have been a bit dazed when God was asking him to offer up the promise of a great nation on the altar.  I'm quite sure that the disciples sat there the day of Jesus' crucifixion in something of a mental stupor, questioning the whole deal and wondering why they had given the last 3 years of their life for this outcome.  These are moments of desolation.  They lend themselves to feelings of total abandonment...much like when your stranded on the side of the road in an RV that won't run, 2 little children anticipating meeting their new family and the guy at the dealership says they have no other available replacements and you must cancel your trip!

But look what God says about such things.  At the end of ourselves a beautiful transformation happens.  Its a restoration of Eden.  Things that were ruined, hopes that were abandoned and things that have lost their energy will be inhabited and have new life breathed into them!  But this time its God's life not yours.  It was the Lord’s doing.  He's showing off and demonstrating His great love and compassion towards us.  He's causing the trees to yield fruit and the fields to increase their production, the grains to abound (vs. 29-30) and your sheep to increase (vs. 37)!

What is it that has been ruined in life?  What hopes have been abandoned and have wasted away in their lifeless energy?  The Lord has spoken 4 powerful words:  I WILL DO IT!  So we will go back to square one, await further instructions and abandon ourselves to faith & trust in Him all over again.  What we learned here is that when God calls you to something the most unfruitful question to ask along the journey is "why?" when along the way things don't go like you thought they should.  That one word only leads to an empty, vacuous silence.  The more productive question is "what now?"  It is from this place that you hear all over again the voice of God.

Until we speak again...be blessed!

Update on Bringing Our New Kids Home!

So here we are.  24 Hours away from beginning the process to meet our kids and bring them home with us. Leaving the farm behind is stressful but knowing our police officer son will be here to house and animal sit while we're gone is comforting.  Anxiety mounts, but its a good anxiety...at least most of it.  Will our new children like us or will they be disappointed?  Will they take to us quickly or will it take a while to capture them?  What will our other young children think?  What will they do?  What is going through their little minds as they watch 2 other children being grafted into our family?

While it is difficult at times to determine what our 3 youngest boys are thinking, I think its safe to say they are both excited and nervous.  True to their history, they handle emotional stimulation with regressive behavior.  All kinds of things are popping up this week that we haven't had to deal with much over the past 6 months.  This is somewhat predictable and it is why we knew that we could not travel to meet our new children and not take them with us.  It would have ignited their worst fears in life and we simply could not do that to them.

In spite of the increased anxiety, the boys have also shown amazing resiliency and compassion for our new children.  Each evening at the dinner table they ask "when do we leave to get our new kids?"   They are genuinely excited and this adoption has served to help them expand their worlds beyond themselves in order to think of others.  We are proud of the progress our boys have made and especially proud of the acceptance that they have already demonstrated for our new children.

We can't fathom how little children comprehend how this works. It is so unnatural for kids not to have a home and family from the start and to see them getting excited about getting a family or adding to our family in this way is still so strange. We are glad that they are excited, it is just amazing that they can come to any kind of understanding in their little minds about it. To our boys, families just add more people/children at different times and to them "getting" these two is normal. They are not phased by that part at all. They are definitely more excited than anything.

I think there is a spiritual lesson here.  When one is born into God's kingdom, isn't one of the things that He asks of us is that we share His love and good news with others?   In other words, think of somebody else long enough to help them in life?

That's where we are today.  We wait expecting, excited and, yes, anxiously for the rest of God's provision, which as of today is $5,000.  We continually remind ourselves to not get sidetracked by what we see in the natural and re-focus on what we see in our mind and spirit's eye...and we break out all over again with thanks and gratitude to be a part of something so special as to take care of His little ones!  We are reminded of Pillar 12 (see my book, 12 Pillars & a Prayer) and we join with the Apostle Paul in "being anxious for nothing, but by prayers and petitions, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God...and His peace will guard your hearts and minds" (Philippians 4:4-8).

You can go to www.simplesolutions4.com and scroll down to donate to help us bring our 2 children home!

Smooth Sailing or Walking on Water?

Anyone who has followed our blog for awhile will know that it is no secret we have had struggles in our adoption process. some may even think we are crazy to do what we have done. There have been times that we might have agreed with you. However, when God calls you to do something it isn't always easy and it doesn't always work out like you planned. We have learned this over and over and all we can do is keep moving forward. We have also learned so much about God through this process and how much He loves us and is with us all the way through all the struggles.

As most of you know, in 2010 we adopted 3 severely neglected children, ages 2, 3 & 4 at the time.  It has been the ride of our life!...absolutely one of the most challenging things we've ever done and at the same time absolutely one of the most meaningful things God has ever asked us to do!

Our boys are flourishing now and just when we thought we had smooth sailing, God has again called us get out of the boat and provide a home for 2 special needs children, ages 2 & 3. There are prominent medical needs involved secondary to severe neglect, starvation and hypoxia (the 2 year old literally starved to death but was revived).  

The only piece of the puzzle left now is the funding.  At this time, we still need to raise $10,000.  We should be nervous but we're not!  We are confident that God is calling us and believe that He will provide. We are keeping our eyes on Jesus and walking on water to meet Him.

He asked were we willing? and we put our Yes! on the table. He has challenged us to abandon ourselves to faith & trust that the need would be met.  We are simply to put our need out there to various groups, churches and individuals.  We believe somewhere in this process is a miracle of provision on behalf of these 2 little children.  

We are asking you be a part of helping us raise these funds by praying for us, donating if you desire and sending this need on to others? We only have one week to do this!  

We should be nervous...but strangely we're not.  There is a deep overwhelming peace and excitement that somehow goes beyond our circumstances.  It is a special time.  Never before has our faith been so tested and so much "blind trust" required.  It is a strange feeling knowing that you're doing everything you can but understanding that no matter what we do its not enough.  We must have something bigger, something greater, something supernatural operating in order to give these 2 children the home they deserve.  And somehow we understand that this is not about us.  And Its not just about the 2 children getting a home.  There are others at stake here too.  We believe that others will not only participate in our adoption process and be blessed, but that still others will step up and say "well if the Thomas' can do it, we can do it too".  We know not everyone is called to adopt. We are all called to take care of widows and orphans. James 1:27 but that doesn't mean that everyone is called to parent an orphan. It may that be that you are called to help others adopt, or serve and support missions to orphans. There are so many ways to serve God and we all are in this together. It is to this end that we recognize that this is not our adoption.  It has the feel of something bigger than us.  I've always heard that everybody needs a "why" in life in order to motivate them.  Ours is coming into focus. 

We have 2 ways set up for people to get involved with these children's future. First, people can go to www.simplesolutions4.com and scroll down on the home page to the donate button.  Second, people can go to http://www.gofundme.com/air1K4 and donate. Both sites are secure. I'd like to thank you in advance for any help, prayers, donations and ask that you please pass this one to anyone that you may think is appropriate. 

Boys!

Raising boys is one of the greatest experiences one can have in life. Boys are full of energy, mischief, curiosity and LOVE! Who can resist a sweet, innocent boy, who may happen to be covered in mud at any given time?

They are also very responsible and love to learn to do lifeskills...that is, when they're not doing dog piles!

We raised three of our own. They are each 9 years apart but when they get together they become one age and enjoy each other and doing things together. Like wrestling, fishing, camping, and cooking. What fun to have cooking throw downs with these boys! Family gatherings make for great memories and awesome food.

We had so much fun and love with the first 3 so we couldn't resist and adopted 3 more boys!  These three are each one year apart. WOW! It is like having triplets, but oh so fun...and never a dull moment!  We also have four wonderful girls and I don't mean to leave them out but this post is about boys so there will be another time to show off the girls.

That leaves us with 4 boys at home and the boy fun is full and alive in our house.  Whether its playing outside, crawling on dad's tractor...or lap...

or hanging from trees, working in the garden, conquering universes with their Star Wars light sabers,

swinging from tires,

or enjoying ice cream

never mind the chocolate on the white shirts!

cause its time for another dog pile!

there's enough love to go around as these little guys figure out life on the farm

and life in a new family with older brothers...

In the end, here we are!  All 13 of us...and counting, our oldest son and his wife are pregnant

...with a BOY!  (we think!)

There is no question about it, boys are a special breed.  Their natural combination of curiosity, endless energy,  and downright cuteness are irresistible and have brought much joy and life to our home through the years.  We strongly recommend giving thanks for and hugs to the boys in your life today!

Managing your own need.

Today brought an interesting devotion from the book of Proverbs.  In the 25th Chapter, Solomon, the man credited with being the wisest man to ever live said these words:

 

It is not good to eat much honey;

So to seek one’s own glory is not glory [at all].

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit

Is like a city broken down, without walls.

 

One of the devasting effects of parental neglect is the development of narcissism.  Psychoanalysist, Heinz Kohut, once spoke much about the development of narcissism.  He concluded that everybody has a narcissistic need and that in normal development these needs are met through empathic parenting.  Primarily through empathy, children develop the skill of self soothing, feeling safe, receive nurturing and develop a sense of well-being in this world.  Without such parenting, narcissism basically goes unchecked, rules the day, and establishes an abyss of emotional need that demands satisfaction, i.e., its all about me, baby!   Those around such a person often avoid contact, run for the exit doors or tend to counter the self-centeredness with rejection and in worse cases, become abusive in efforts to "tame" the narcissistic demands.

 

Kohut's theory never made more sense to me than now.  We have seen first hand the emotional injuries of neglect and the resultant narcissism.  It is one of the more difficult aspects of parenting children who have been neglected.  Watching a child try to meet legitimate needs through narcissistic indulgence is painstakingly difficult and managing your own reactions is tricky.  If you're not careful everyone loses.  The child makes no progress in learning to meet his/her needs and the parents have just either avoided or scolded the child for their demanding behavior...thus, to seek one’s own glory is not glory [at all].    Solomon said it centuries ago.  But he also tips us on how to meet those needs.  It requires that you gain control over your spirit.  We’re talking personal responsibility not only for making good choices, but for meeting one’s own needs in legitimate, healthy ways.  To not do so leaves you without defense or protection, just as a city without walls is subject to invasion.  When you are seeking your own glory, the possibility that you will be met with invaders is increased, resulting not in needs being met, but legitimate needs being plundered and even exploited.   This explains why people who are sensitive to rejection seem to invite that rejection from others.  Seeking your own glory opens up your soul like a broken down city without walls.  You get whatever wanders up and enters in.  Perhaps the sojourner is good for the city, perhaps he is not.  Maybe the need is met, maybe the soul and emotions were exploited and frustrated one more time.  However, the one who rules over his or her own spirit is not so.  They let in what they know will be good for the city!

 

But then the question comes, "exactly how to do teach a child to rule over his own spirit?"  Particularly a child that has experienced such disappointment and whose sense of well-being has been shaken to the core.  To that we say, "stay tuned, we'll get back to you on that one!"  We know it has to do with consistency, emphasizing personal responsibility from each child, the importance of the truth, unconditional love from parents and establishing meaningful relationships.  Perhaps it requires other things as well.  If you've got an idea, let us hear from you!  We'd welcome the input!  Until next time...

Does it really take a Village?

Does it really take a Village?

 M. Russell Thomas, PhD

Taken from a full length article posted 2/14/11 to

www.simplesolutions4.com

 

 

            We have often heard the phrase that “it takes a village to raise a child”.  It is an old African proverb that suggests that children are raised best by a village of people who will help that child reach its full potential in life.  I would like to take a moment to address this philosophy and with all due respect, vehemently disagree with basic tenets which underpin it.  It is a philosophy designed by the father of lies and, while dressed up in sheep’s clothing, directly opposes the foundational truths of family.

            Before I present my case, let me go into just a little history of the adage.  It takes a village to raise a child allegedly has its origins in African culture.  It originated from the Nigerian Igbo culture and proverb Ora na azu nwa which means it takes the community/village to raise a child. It is interesting that The Igbo's also name their children Nwa ora which means child of the community.  Other African cultures have promulgated their own version of the proverb.   For example, in Lunyoro (Banyoro) there is a proverb that says Omwana takulila nju emoi, which means literally A child does not grow up only in a single home.  In another African language (Bahaya) there is a saying, Omwana taba womoi, which translates as A child belongs not to one parent or home. In Kijita (Wajita) there is a proverb which says Omwana ni wa bhone, meaning regardless of a child's biological parent(s) its upbringing belongs to the community.  Finally, Swahili, Asiyefunzwa na mamae hufunzwa na ulimwengu translates similarly to that of Kijita.

            More recent history on the proverb it takes a village to raise a child indicates that then, first lady, Hillary Clinton picked up the phrase and idea to write her 1996 book, It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us.  Ms. Clinton spun her political views regarding community, family and social structure based on this popular phrase.  While I have not personally read the book, reviews of the book suggest that Ms. Clinton’s politics and the worldview that shape her politics, were (and presumably still are) similar to that of the African tribes.  It is also noted that Ms. Clinton’s book became something of a political lightening rod, as several conservative politicians countered her ideas.  For example, in the 1996 presidential campaign, Republican presidential candidate, Bob Dole is quoted as saying,"... with all due respect, I am here to tell you, it does not take a village to raise a child. It takes a family to raise a child."  Nine years later, conservative Senator Rick Santorum wrote a rebuke to the book, It Takes a Family: Conservatism and the Common Good.  Both politicians apparently understood the fallacy in Ms. Clinton’s philosophy and political ideology.

            Now I’m not here to talk politics.  But since adopting our four children, Karen and I have been presented with this same it takes a villagementality multiple times.  However, its not in campaign headquarters, but rather coming from good, God-fearing brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ.  We have cringed every time we heard these words.  And before I go any further, let me say this is not to cast a judgmental stone at anyone.  To my shame, I too, have used the phrase and perhaps at some point have given place to some of its ideas in my own life.  But having had a sharp rebuke from God’s Spirit, I feel it important to bring this philosophy to Light as we hold its major ideological principles to the standard of God’s word.  But to all our shame who are in the Body of Christ, promulgating this ideology is promoting Satan's agenda, which is to destroy family and vomit his plethora of lies out on our family and society.  I'll tell you why Karen & I feel so strongly about this issue.

            What are the major principles of the It takes a village philosophy?  There are two messages immediately inherent in this philosophy that are designed to undermine parents and the family structure that our Creator has orchestrated to raise healthy, functional, and creative participants in this world.  The first message inherent in the it takes a village philosophy is that parents are somehow inadequate, in and of themselves, to raise a child.  The idea is that as a parent, you will need more than you and your family to produce a healthy, thriving adult.  So everyone is ready to jump in and give your child what he or she needs to mature.  Huh!?  Now please show in the scripture where God ever said to parents, “I’m going to bless you with this child and you, your neighbor, the garbage man, the banker, and the mailman are going to raise it!”  No, God said Children are heritage of the Lord like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of the youth (Ps 127:3).  Again, in Proverbs 22:1 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old , he will not depart from it.  The operative word there is “train”.  This is an active, dynamic verb that indicates parental effort and involvement with that child.  Not farming out that responsibility to every community entity that so eagerly await receiving a child into their particular philosophy and worldview.

            The second message of the it takes a village philosophy is that you and I as parents, should relinquish our parental responsibility and authority to others.  Or at best, that we should share that responsibility with others.  Again, let’s bring this idea into the light of scripture and see how it holds up.  Is there anywhere in scripture that says a parent should share their parental responsibilities and authority with others in the community?  Absolutely not! There were times when parents made a decision that it was perhaps in the child’s best interest to be raised by someone else (Moses comes to mind), but again, when the angel appeared to Mary and Joseph did he outlined a plan whereby they would share raising Jesus with others?  No, they understood that they had been selected to raise the most influential man of all history.  The angel gave them of vision of this child and who he was to become and it was their sole responsibility to move him toward that destiny.  Nowhere did the angel suggest this was going to be a village effort!  But rather, biblical culture understood that the foundations of family where parents involved in the training and socialization of their kids.  Paul said in Ephesians 6 and Colossians 3 for father’s not to provoke their children to wrath.  I submit to you that fathers whose children are being raised by the village need no such instruction!  This instruction was to fathers who embraced the responsibility of parenting and who bear the wait of raising healthy children.

            I’m going to stop right now and point you to read the rest of this article in its entirety next week.  It will be posted on our websitewww.simplesolutions4.com by Valentine’s Day.  I will simply conclude by expressing my concerns about how this philosophy is creeping into the Body of Christ.  It is a subtle sabotage and undermining of the Biblical foundations for family and raising healthy children into thriving adults.  But until we talk again, we thank you for reading and following our blog.

Bonding and attachment

Our new kids have been with us a month now and today is one of the more difficult blogs to write.  I'm not sure if I'm writing as a psychologist or father.  I suspect some of both.  But in the spirit of transparency we will try to convey to our blog readers what its like to receive a sibling group into your home with a background of moving from placement to placement throughout their lives.  We will now try to describe what we have observed as one of the most devastating impacts of neglect on a child.

One of the biggest surprises to us is the degree of "disconnect" our children have from others.  Otherwise put, the degree to which our children are deficient in their ability to attach, bond and empathize with others has caught us a bit by surprise.  When a child is neglected, a very deep, entrenched feeling of "my caretakers are not there for me" develops and behavior emanates from this core conviction that "I must take care of myself because nobody else is trustworthy enough and can be counted on to meet my needs".   The behavioral result is surprisingly devoid of empathy and awareness of others.  It is our constant chore to maintain order when toys are ripped out of each other's hands or when unkind words are spoken that seem to be designed to generate space and distance in relationships, i.e., make sure nobody gets too close, because after all, when it comes down to it, nobody is trustworthy and we're just one more behavior away from another placement.  When one child is praised for something, often another jumps in to try to "steal the spotlight", leaving the other child screaming in order to regain the attention.   We expected the bonding to be slow with us but we thought they were bonded to each other as siblings and that is not the case at all. They are not bonded to any one. I can only imagine what life must have been like for a baby that had no one to count on. What goes through a little childs mind when they are not nurtured and they have no one to connect to? What leads them to disconnect from everyone when by nature we are designed to connect?

 

Its easy to see these behaviors as defiance and/or rebellion.  We have come to a different conclusion.  The bruised heart of a child isn't that much unlike the new child of God.  God constantly pleads in scripture for our trust and confidence in Him.  He reminds us in Hebrews 13:5 that "He will never leave us or forsake us".  It is one of the most primative, basic needs of a human being to be connected and cared for.  When that need is frustrated and injured, the impact is profound.  Relationships are suspect, connections are only for the purpose of obtaining something, and a self-absorbed, egocentric way of life rules the day.

 

Now here's the good news.  The heart of a child is vulnerable.  It remains vulnerable to the warm embrace that assures that everything is all right and that mommy and daddy aren't going anywhere.  It takes some time to cut through the insulation that defiant, self centered behavior provides, but beyond that behavior is a heart that screams for the assurance that care and nurturing are in place and predictibly consistent.  We are just beginning to scratch the surface of this protective layer of disconnect.  We have found the general rule of thumb seems to be the older the child, the more entrenched they are in their "disconnect".  The task isn't that much different than sharing Jesus with adult.  For some reason, we all seem to have these protective disconnects that hamper our intimacy with God.  Like Adam and Eve, when they perceived that their Heavenly Father was not providing fully for them and decided to take matters in their own hands, so is the nature of a child.  Whether parents or preachers, our task is to love with a love that is so predictible, so compelling, so consistent, that disconnect melts and meaningful, stabilizing relationship rules the day.  It is in this context that people grow and thrive beyond all they ever thought what possible for their lives.

Time is drawing near

Today we put the finishing touches on rooms, yard and home in anticipation of receiving our children very, very soon into our home.  The excitement of meeting mid-week has us in a certain "final phase nesting response" over the past few days.  We cannot hardly stand the wait much more and even though its a reality upon us, the entire thing seems a bit surreal right now.  We will try to blog throughout the week as we come face to face with our 4 newest children!

"I'm getting my forever family!"

We are so excited that we could not sleep last night.  The children have been told about us and their reaction was so overwhelming, particularly the oldest…”oh! I’m getting my forever family!”, she said. She wanted to know everybody’s names and what her room looked like.  It was hard to fight back the tears.  There was such a strong parental instinct that something of great value had just been found.  All the struggles that we’ve encountered along the way gave way to an overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement that children had just “found their way home”.  Later on in the evening we again became overwhelmed with a simple thought:  how we felt in that moment of hearing of the joy of a child who had found her home was exactly how our Heavenly Father feels when someone finds their way home to Him!  For a brief moment, feeling the heart of God toward His children, we see God revealing a fundamental truth....  Adoption is not just about giving a child a bigger room, a nicer meal or better clothes, it is an expression of God’s heart....It is a living, breathing, manifest representation of what happens when a man, woman or child finds his or her way to their Heavenly Father....there is a Heavenly joy released as the Father welcomes His created child into His arms.  Adoption is the tangible expression of what Jesus was trying to communicate to His followers in Luke 15:10 when He said "Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

Patience may be a virtue but waiting is fattening!

I have found that although I am a very patient person, especially with children, I don't like waiting on things to happen. So to keep myself busy and my mind off of the waiting I have to find something to do and lately it has been making desserts. Thus the fattening side of waiting. Have you seen the movie "The Waitress"? What stands out to me in the movie is the pies she creates through the trials in her life. Since seeing that movie I have enjoyed creating pies and naming them according to what is going on in my life. This month has been especially fattening while we are waiting to travel to get our new additions to the family. 

I am sorry that the pictures are not that great but you can get the idea anyway. For some reason, the pictures turn sideways when they upload and I cant figure out how to turn them back. Trust me, they definitely tasted better than they look in the pictures.

It started out small, we just had "Movie night popcorn" while we waited for a match.....

Then came the referral and staffing and then......

.........Chocolate Whoopie Pies in celebration of being matched

  "Whoopie!-We-are-excited Pies!"

This was the Bavarian Creme Apple Pie made while my mom was in the hospital.

  "My mom is in the hospital and I don't know what to do Bavarian Creme Apple Pie"

This was the 

"Mom got discharged from the Hospital today Chocolate Pecan Pie"

made when she was able to go back home.

Then came the 

"Back to waiting on the paperwork Candy apples"......

Next came the 

"I wish they would hurry up and email me back Caramel Popcorn".......

And now

"I am so tired of waiting just bring them to us Caramel Cheesecake!"  

and the worst part is there are only 4 of us to eat all this stuff.

Russell said if we don't hurry up and get our kids he's going to be as big as Bo...

...our 3 year old bull!

Warrior Arrows

Some of you may have noticed a change in our blog.  Specifically, we have changed our name from "Boys in the Bulrush" to "Warrior Arrows".  Today, we'd like to explain the change.  When we began our journey on the path to adoption, we didn't know where to start.  We looked at dozens of options and agencies before deciding to pursue 2 special needs children from China.  Once on the path, we wanted to name our blog something that would reflect the idea of a journey that found 2 boys hidden in some disguised place, but nonetheless, there for us to find and welcome into our home.  The mental picture we had was of Moses in the Old Testament, when his mother floated him down the river and his floatation device came to rest in the bulrush where he was found and essentially adopted into the king's court.

As we have shared, for various reasons, we were unable to continue on the path to adopting these boys from China and we shifted our efforts to finding a sibling group in the United States.  Recently we were selected for a group of 4 siblings in the midwest and are now waiting to travel to meet them, hopefully some time in the next week or two.  The sibling group is comprised of a girl and 3 boys, so the mental picture of 2 boys in the bulrush began to break down a little bit.  This past week a new mental picture began to emerge in our mind based on Psalm 127:3-5 which says

 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth.

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

We have always loved that verse and having our 'quiver full' of our own children. As we began to think of adding more arrows to our quiver through adoption, we felt like this was a perfect name for our blog. People have said that we are crazy for adopting 4 children at this point of our life.  And to that, we say, "yeah, we know.  We can give you a 1,000 reasons why we shouldn't adopt 4 children".  But then we continue..."we can give you 1 good reason why we should..."  Do you know what that reason is?  We believe that it is absolutely an honor and the most thrilling adventure that life has to offer to be a part of a child's life and have the opportunity to introduce them to the Kingdom of God and Jesus.  And here we are, totally blessed with 4 more!  Four more children that we can tell about God's love and the special place they hold in His heart!  Four more children in our quiver who are warrior arrows in the Kingdom of God.

Does life get any better, we ask?  What will it be like to stand before God our Father one day knowing that we had answered His call, sought Him for guidance, and introduced not only our biological children to Jesus, but these 4 as well.  Crazy?  Perhaps.  But life never really promised that everything would make sense...only that we would be accompanied by the King of the entire universe and that He desires to penetrate this world with His love.  We'll talk so more in the coming days about the thrill and why its so important to us.  Until we talk again...

Hope and Fulfillment

I must start today's blog with a passage from Proverbs.  Proverbs 13:12 says that, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life".  Many times I have quoted the first part of that.  I usually said it when I felt that life wasn't giving me what I wanted, when I wanted it.  It was sort of a way to say to God, "Hey, come on.  Answer my prayer, already!"  The ole "hope deferred" line also represented a certain frustration with life, not to mention a feeling of entitlement.  Historically speaking, none of those thoughts, feelings and even attempts to manipulate the heavens ever seemed to make much difference in the outcomes.  But today, I am reminded that life does, in fact, provide its moments when our desires are realized and something good comes our way.  My devotion this morning was from Psalm 35 and I noticed that in a difficult time David reminds himself that God does take pleasure in the "prosperity" of His children.  We wake up this morning with this wonderful feeling of having a desire to come to us.  Yesterday, we were informed that we have been selected to adopt 4 beautiful children pending one more interview that seems to be fairly perfunctory.  Finally!  After several years, the last 15 months of which have been up and down, we have found our kids!  Suddenly, life is full of energy and our hearts feel a sense of gratitude that God has placed this burden on our hearts to adopt and has now fulfilled that burden.  Although we are facing a few more weeks of waiting, administrative activities and of course, paperwork, we are finally going to receive our 4 new little blessings.  We could go on right now describing this moment and how it feels, but well save that for future posts over the next couple of days.  Until we talk again....

Passing through Nowhere Land...

Passing through Nowhere Land...Maybe I'm the only one, but sometimes when you feel you are suppose to do something in life, it doesn't always feel like you are making progress.  One minute you know exactly what you're doing and where you're at and then, without warning, you get this feeling of being completely out of your element and in the middle of "Nowhere Land".

 

As many of you know, we have been involved in the adoption process for well over three years now.  Its not just a noble idea for us, its a calling.  And it not only involves us simply finding our kids and opening our heart and home to them, but to join in with those in the Body of Christ who are encouraging others to get involved in some capacity.  Whether its adopting, supporting an agency or orphanage, sponsoring a child or encouraging a friend that we know is in the adoption process, we know that the world cannot afford to lose these little ones to our fears, apathy and indifference. 

 

At times it has felt as if we were making progress and at other times it has felt like we were at ground zero...yet again!  The words of Rudyard Kipling's poem, "IF", "if you can...risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, and lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your loss..." more than capture the feeling that we've had over and over.  In this process of finding our kids we can go to bed one night knowing that God's got it all under control, convinced that tomorrow the social worker is going to call, only to wake up the next morning in Nowhere Land "starting over again".  But then something beautiful happens.  God will send something or somebody into our path that offers the strength and energy to stay the course.  Recently, I experienced one such moment. 

 

I was in a grocery store, minding my own business, waiting for the deli people to slice my roast beef, when a young lady approached me.  She began to tell me how the course of her and her husband's life was changed dramatically in response to something we had said.  At first, I had no idea what she was talking about and she thought that perhaps she had mistaken me for somebody else.  But then she went on to say that she and her husband were involved in the adoption of a sibling group.  What persuaded them to take the leap was a presentation we had done in our local church last year.  To be more precise, it was the second presentation that persuaded them to pursue adoption.  As she recounted to me, after the first presentation, she and her husband began to pray about adopting.  One of their prayers went something like "Lord, if you are wanting us to adopt, then let the man do another presentation".  To their amazement, the next Sunday, we did a second presentation about the need for families to adopt.  With tears streaming down her face she thanked me for the presentation and the encouragement to step out and open their hearts and homes to parent "the fatherless".  And in that instant, I went from wondering what in the world we were thinking about when we answered our call to adopt, to a place where it all made sense.  Our frustrations and disappointments melted and for a moment I had one of those genuine "rejoice with those that rejoice" moments.  It is such moments that remind me that a Being far more wise than I orchestrates life and fits all the pieces of the puzzle together for each and every one of us. 

 

We have shared many such orchestrated moments with each other and with many of you along our path to finding our kids.  We want to take a moment to thank each of you who have shared with us.  We can only say thank you and keep it coming.  Continue to share with us your stories of how God has touched you in some capacity to serve the fatherless of this world.  Its the difference between settling in "Nowhere Land" and just passing through.  God bless you and let me just close this blog with the words of James who said,

 

Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.

 

until we talk again...