Bunk Room

Since adding the boys into our family we have done a lot of rearranging in the house. Rearranging bedrooms has been the biggest of changes we have made and we have rearranged numerous times to get just the right fit for everyone. Space is not a problem. We could put everyone in their own room but that hasnt been the best option. We have tried individual rooms, and different combinations of pairing up and finally we came to our current set up and it has been wonderful.

In the beginning this room was inspired by Pinterest. I kept seeing bunk rooms and they were so cute. We had two sets of bunk/twin beds in different rooms so to move everyone in the same room for sleeping was not that big of a risk. The joke around our house is Karen shows Russell a picture and he makes it. It works out very nicely. So I got the picture and he began working on it.

We chose a room to make into our bunk room. This room would be for sleeping and clothes. Another room will be the play room with all the toys. The first task was to paint the room. I began that while Russell began the construction of the bunk bed frames.

This room has a chimney going up through it makes  a strange little box area in the middle of the main wall so we had to build around that. The over all size of the room is about 13 x 17 ft. It just so happened that the beds fit perfectly on either side of the extension.

Then we painted the beds to match the walls to create a built in feeling.

The boys love the bunk room! Everyone has their own bed and there are no distractions during the night. Everyone sleeps much better together and then there is the  play room for all the playing. That will be another post coming soon.

Sibling Rivalry

So this morning I'm minding my own business, enjoying a little quiet time and reading from the Good Book when I come across a scripture in John 21 that makes me laugh.  Now I don't often see scripture as a discourse in comedy, but I couldn't help myself this morning.  The dynamic was all too familiar.  This exchange records the 3rd time He has appeared to someone since His resurrection from the dead.  He is having a nice little conversation with Peter on the seashore.  Just the 2 of them strolling down the coastline enjoying a special little one-on-one friendship time that Peter must have found infinitely rewarding when he notices something.  "The disciple whom Jesus loved" is following along behind them.  Its a real Raymond and Robert moment if you know what I mean (think Everybody Loves Raymond).

Now understand that Jesus had just encouraged Peter to take the lead, me "the man", feed the sheep, garner the troops...well, you get the idea.  But when Peter catches a glimpse of this disciple... whom Jesus loved...following along looking all the world like he was trying to crowd in on his private time with the risen Savior, he can't help himself.  Peter knows better than to question the disciple's right to be there or on a more primative level, even exist.  After all, he had seen Jesus in action and was aware that one of His most defining mantras was "let them come".  So in that moment, filled with what I suspect was irritation, Peter blurts out, "Well what about this guy, Jesus?  What's in it for him?"  (paraphrased by me...you might want to read it for yourself at John 21:21!).  I close my eyes and hear the words of Robert as he concedes in his dejection, "everybody loves Raymond"!  

And Jesus' reply?  

"If I want him to live to remain until I come, what is that to you?"  I think another translation here would be something like:  "Whatever Peter!  If I say he lives until I come back, that's nunya!... none-of-your-business!"  

It was a classical moment!  A vintage sibling rivalry moment!  It struck me as funny because we've had this same moment with our boys...so, so many times!

• “Don’t worry about what your brother is wearing!  Just worry about what you have on!"
• “Don’t worry about what your brother got for his birthday!  You play with your toys and be happy for him!”
• “Don’t worry about what he’s got on his plate!  You eat what’s on yours!”  
• "You are not your brother's keeper.  Just mind your own business!"
• "What is that to you if he got a piggyback ride!"

I suppose that foolishness is bound in the heart of a child and only through considerable effort and discipline is it tamed. Jesus had to deal with it and so have we…hundreds of times!  Its immature, its misguided, its aggravating and its selfishness in its rawest form…but its life and intricately wound up in the heart of a boy or girl, man or woman.  Its called, “who’s getting what?” and “hey, I got the short end of the stick!”  Its more that just petty jealousy or simple selfishness. The issue stems from a fear that I will not have what I need and an anxiety that I will not be taken care of.  It is a basic question that each of us must answer:  do we really believe that our Father in Heaven will provide for us, on a personal, intimate level, what we need and do so in abundance as He promised to do? (see Jesus' other words earlier in the book of John, chapter 10 verse 10).  

The good news is that our boys are learning and so do we as sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father.  So until we talk again...hey Lord, I saw a brand new BMW in front of John's house...!

Boys!

Raising boys is one of the greatest experiences one can have in life. Boys are full of energy, mischief, curiosity and LOVE! Who can resist a sweet, innocent boy, who may happen to be covered in mud at any given time?

They are also very responsible and love to learn to do lifeskills...that is, when they're not doing dog piles!

We raised three of our own. They are each 9 years apart but when they get together they become one age and enjoy each other and doing things together. Like wrestling, fishing, camping, and cooking. What fun to have cooking throw downs with these boys! Family gatherings make for great memories and awesome food.

We had so much fun and love with the first 3 so we couldn't resist and adopted 3 more boys!  These three are each one year apart. WOW! It is like having triplets, but oh so fun...and never a dull moment!  We also have four wonderful girls and I don't mean to leave them out but this post is about boys so there will be another time to show off the girls.

That leaves us with 4 boys at home and the boy fun is full and alive in our house.  Whether its playing outside, crawling on dad's tractor...or lap...

or hanging from trees, working in the garden, conquering universes with their Star Wars light sabers,

swinging from tires,

or enjoying ice cream

never mind the chocolate on the white shirts!

cause its time for another dog pile!

there's enough love to go around as these little guys figure out life on the farm

and life in a new family with older brothers...

In the end, here we are!  All 13 of us...and counting, our oldest son and his wife are pregnant

...with a BOY!  (we think!)

There is no question about it, boys are a special breed.  Their natural combination of curiosity, endless energy,  and downright cuteness are irresistible and have brought much joy and life to our home through the years.  We strongly recommend giving thanks for and hugs to the boys in your life today!

Managing your own need.

Today brought an interesting devotion from the book of Proverbs.  In the 25th Chapter, Solomon, the man credited with being the wisest man to ever live said these words:

 

It is not good to eat much honey;

So to seek one’s own glory is not glory [at all].

Whoever has no rule over his own spirit

Is like a city broken down, without walls.

 

One of the devasting effects of parental neglect is the development of narcissism.  Psychoanalysist, Heinz Kohut, once spoke much about the development of narcissism.  He concluded that everybody has a narcissistic need and that in normal development these needs are met through empathic parenting.  Primarily through empathy, children develop the skill of self soothing, feeling safe, receive nurturing and develop a sense of well-being in this world.  Without such parenting, narcissism basically goes unchecked, rules the day, and establishes an abyss of emotional need that demands satisfaction, i.e., its all about me, baby!   Those around such a person often avoid contact, run for the exit doors or tend to counter the self-centeredness with rejection and in worse cases, become abusive in efforts to "tame" the narcissistic demands.

 

Kohut's theory never made more sense to me than now.  We have seen first hand the emotional injuries of neglect and the resultant narcissism.  It is one of the more difficult aspects of parenting children who have been neglected.  Watching a child try to meet legitimate needs through narcissistic indulgence is painstakingly difficult and managing your own reactions is tricky.  If you're not careful everyone loses.  The child makes no progress in learning to meet his/her needs and the parents have just either avoided or scolded the child for their demanding behavior...thus, to seek one’s own glory is not glory [at all].    Solomon said it centuries ago.  But he also tips us on how to meet those needs.  It requires that you gain control over your spirit.  We’re talking personal responsibility not only for making good choices, but for meeting one’s own needs in legitimate, healthy ways.  To not do so leaves you without defense or protection, just as a city without walls is subject to invasion.  When you are seeking your own glory, the possibility that you will be met with invaders is increased, resulting not in needs being met, but legitimate needs being plundered and even exploited.   This explains why people who are sensitive to rejection seem to invite that rejection from others.  Seeking your own glory opens up your soul like a broken down city without walls.  You get whatever wanders up and enters in.  Perhaps the sojourner is good for the city, perhaps he is not.  Maybe the need is met, maybe the soul and emotions were exploited and frustrated one more time.  However, the one who rules over his or her own spirit is not so.  They let in what they know will be good for the city!

 

But then the question comes, "exactly how to do teach a child to rule over his own spirit?"  Particularly a child that has experienced such disappointment and whose sense of well-being has been shaken to the core.  To that we say, "stay tuned, we'll get back to you on that one!"  We know it has to do with consistency, emphasizing personal responsibility from each child, the importance of the truth, unconditional love from parents and establishing meaningful relationships.  Perhaps it requires other things as well.  If you've got an idea, let us hear from you!  We'd welcome the input!  Until next time...

Life's Audible at the Line of Scrimmage.

I'm not much of a football fan and I'm not terribly versed on the rules and lexicon of the game.  I do understand that plays are called in a huddle, the team breaks the huddle and heads for an imaginery line draw across the field even with the football and that this line is called the "line of scrimmage".  The quarterback then settles behind this great big guy who usually looks like for all the world that he's about to split out his pants and proceeds to bark out a bunch of nonsense "codes" and at some point in this strange sequence the guy who's about split out his pants snaps the ball back to the quarterback and the play starts.  But sometimes the quarter gets real uncomfortable with what he sees across that line and he calls what is known as an "audible".  This is when the quarterback decides to not go with the plan devised in the huddle and instead, switch the play right there in the middle of the action.  This past weekend, life called an audible on our family and man did it turn out to be a winning play!

Annually the male types on our family have gone on our "Boys Club Campout".  All the men and boys get together somewhere in the wilderness equipped with camping gear and plenty of good eats that are shared throughout the weekend, While the women and girls get together at our home for their own fun. We stand around a campfire much of the weekend, hike through woods and mountains, and generally give our best Daniel Boone impression before returning home to the women in our lives smelling like the great out of doors among other things!  This weekend the event for the guys was to be held at a state park nestled in the Blue Ridge Mountains in upstate South Carolina.  Our oldest son, Jason, went a day early to enjoy some R&R along with his 90 lbs German Shepard, Max.  The rest of us guys got up Saturday and began our journey to meet Jason and Max for the weekend in the park. We were all en route when the phone rang.  It was Jason letting us know that a heavy rain had set in, flooding the campsite, soaking everything he had, and that perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to follow through as planned.  The "audible" was called and we decided to all invade the women folk back at our home in southeastern North Carolina.  Throughout the afternoon car loads of rugged warriors waylaid by the weather arrived at our house. 

Afternoon gave way to evening as everyone settled in to plan and prepare meals for what turned out to be 14 family members in our home.  People were laughing, playing and enjoying the time together as the meal was being prepared.  We realized that all of our children were present in our house, which is actually a fairly rare event.  But our four new children along with the others we've been loving for years were all present. Including our daughter in law (who is with child) and our soon to be son in law. In that moment we realized that God had orchestrated a wonderful time for our family to enjoy.  It was a "Little House on the Prairie" moment as we watched the new kids playing and interacting well with the older ones and the older ones enjoying one another as well as the new kids.  All were laughing, playing and there was such a strong sense of well-being and safety that permeated the atmosphere of our home.


The teasing and talks of who prayed for the rain went on and on......Was it Jason, the devout Carolina fan who was going up against Kentucky on Sunday? or was it Russell, the devout Kentucky fan? Could it have been Chris, the soon to be son in law, joining the camp out for the first time? Rumors had it that there would be an initiation into the family :)...he certainly had ample motivation to pray this one a wash out!  Or, was it Karen, who was supposed to be home with the four new kids for the weekend?  Or maybe it was just one of those collective unconscious things that moved Heaven to intervene for the good of the entire tribe.  

Whatever the cause, we could not have planned it any better if we had tried.   Children gathered literally from all over the country, having fun, enjoying the magnanimous blessing of family and all the best that offers us and there was the blessed peace of God and deep down joy that comes when you know that the Heavenly Father is watching over His children with great satisfaction.  The audible was called and the play generated huge gain.   We look forward to many more such moments.  Thanks to each of you for letting us share it with you today!

Does it really take a Village?

Does it really take a Village?

 M. Russell Thomas, PhD

Taken from a full length article posted 2/14/11 to

www.simplesolutions4.com

 

 

            We have often heard the phrase that “it takes a village to raise a child”.  It is an old African proverb that suggests that children are raised best by a village of people who will help that child reach its full potential in life.  I would like to take a moment to address this philosophy and with all due respect, vehemently disagree with basic tenets which underpin it.  It is a philosophy designed by the father of lies and, while dressed up in sheep’s clothing, directly opposes the foundational truths of family.

            Before I present my case, let me go into just a little history of the adage.  It takes a village to raise a child allegedly has its origins in African culture.  It originated from the Nigerian Igbo culture and proverb Ora na azu nwa which means it takes the community/village to raise a child. It is interesting that The Igbo's also name their children Nwa ora which means child of the community.  Other African cultures have promulgated their own version of the proverb.   For example, in Lunyoro (Banyoro) there is a proverb that says Omwana takulila nju emoi, which means literally A child does not grow up only in a single home.  In another African language (Bahaya) there is a saying, Omwana taba womoi, which translates as A child belongs not to one parent or home. In Kijita (Wajita) there is a proverb which says Omwana ni wa bhone, meaning regardless of a child's biological parent(s) its upbringing belongs to the community.  Finally, Swahili, Asiyefunzwa na mamae hufunzwa na ulimwengu translates similarly to that of Kijita.

            More recent history on the proverb it takes a village to raise a child indicates that then, first lady, Hillary Clinton picked up the phrase and idea to write her 1996 book, It Takes a Village: And Other Lessons Children Teach Us.  Ms. Clinton spun her political views regarding community, family and social structure based on this popular phrase.  While I have not personally read the book, reviews of the book suggest that Ms. Clinton’s politics and the worldview that shape her politics, were (and presumably still are) similar to that of the African tribes.  It is also noted that Ms. Clinton’s book became something of a political lightening rod, as several conservative politicians countered her ideas.  For example, in the 1996 presidential campaign, Republican presidential candidate, Bob Dole is quoted as saying,"... with all due respect, I am here to tell you, it does not take a village to raise a child. It takes a family to raise a child."  Nine years later, conservative Senator Rick Santorum wrote a rebuke to the book, It Takes a Family: Conservatism and the Common Good.  Both politicians apparently understood the fallacy in Ms. Clinton’s philosophy and political ideology.

            Now I’m not here to talk politics.  But since adopting our four children, Karen and I have been presented with this same it takes a villagementality multiple times.  However, its not in campaign headquarters, but rather coming from good, God-fearing brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ.  We have cringed every time we heard these words.  And before I go any further, let me say this is not to cast a judgmental stone at anyone.  To my shame, I too, have used the phrase and perhaps at some point have given place to some of its ideas in my own life.  But having had a sharp rebuke from God’s Spirit, I feel it important to bring this philosophy to Light as we hold its major ideological principles to the standard of God’s word.  But to all our shame who are in the Body of Christ, promulgating this ideology is promoting Satan's agenda, which is to destroy family and vomit his plethora of lies out on our family and society.  I'll tell you why Karen & I feel so strongly about this issue.

            What are the major principles of the It takes a village philosophy?  There are two messages immediately inherent in this philosophy that are designed to undermine parents and the family structure that our Creator has orchestrated to raise healthy, functional, and creative participants in this world.  The first message inherent in the it takes a village philosophy is that parents are somehow inadequate, in and of themselves, to raise a child.  The idea is that as a parent, you will need more than you and your family to produce a healthy, thriving adult.  So everyone is ready to jump in and give your child what he or she needs to mature.  Huh!?  Now please show in the scripture where God ever said to parents, “I’m going to bless you with this child and you, your neighbor, the garbage man, the banker, and the mailman are going to raise it!”  No, God said Children are heritage of the Lord like arrows in the hands of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth.  Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of the youth (Ps 127:3).  Again, in Proverbs 22:1 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old , he will not depart from it.  The operative word there is “train”.  This is an active, dynamic verb that indicates parental effort and involvement with that child.  Not farming out that responsibility to every community entity that so eagerly await receiving a child into their particular philosophy and worldview.

            The second message of the it takes a village philosophy is that you and I as parents, should relinquish our parental responsibility and authority to others.  Or at best, that we should share that responsibility with others.  Again, let’s bring this idea into the light of scripture and see how it holds up.  Is there anywhere in scripture that says a parent should share their parental responsibilities and authority with others in the community?  Absolutely not! There were times when parents made a decision that it was perhaps in the child’s best interest to be raised by someone else (Moses comes to mind), but again, when the angel appeared to Mary and Joseph did he outlined a plan whereby they would share raising Jesus with others?  No, they understood that they had been selected to raise the most influential man of all history.  The angel gave them of vision of this child and who he was to become and it was their sole responsibility to move him toward that destiny.  Nowhere did the angel suggest this was going to be a village effort!  But rather, biblical culture understood that the foundations of family where parents involved in the training and socialization of their kids.  Paul said in Ephesians 6 and Colossians 3 for father’s not to provoke their children to wrath.  I submit to you that fathers whose children are being raised by the village need no such instruction!  This instruction was to fathers who embraced the responsibility of parenting and who bear the wait of raising healthy children.

            I’m going to stop right now and point you to read the rest of this article in its entirety next week.  It will be posted on our websitewww.simplesolutions4.com by Valentine’s Day.  I will simply conclude by expressing my concerns about how this philosophy is creeping into the Body of Christ.  It is a subtle sabotage and undermining of the Biblical foundations for family and raising healthy children into thriving adults.  But until we talk again, we thank you for reading and following our blog.

REVERSE THE CURSE!

Feelings are such a fickle thing.  One minute they tickle your fancy and the next they shake you at the core of your being. Adoption can stir them like a whisk stirs a cake mix!  Its been a little over a week since we received our 4 new children.  What a week its been.  We are feeling the need to be transparent about our adoption on this blog, knowing that many readers are either (a) parents thinking about adoption who need to understand some fundamental truth and emotion around adoption, or (b) already adoptive parents who will know when we are “shooting the bull”!  So for better or for worse we’ve decided to make our posts as transparent as possible without violating focus on the reason why we did this to begin with:  the deep, abiding conviction that God is calling His people to care for and win an enter generation of orphans for the Kingdom of God.  No matter what happens we are very much aware that we are simply “pinch hitting” for God here on earth with our children.

With that said, let us try to sum up our first week.  There are certain words that come to mind when we think of this week:  chaos is one.  Overwhelmed at times another.  Other descriptors include perpetual energy and perpetual crisis.  Yet others include needy, crying, broken keepsakes, interruption, screaming, stubbornness,and movement (lots of it).  But then there are some smiles, occasional moments of contentment, and laughter.

The reader may wonder at this point why in the world would anyone want all of this?  It’s a legitimate question.  We have asked ourselves the same question.  In fact, yesterday in my prayer time (driving in my car to an appointment) I (Russell) found myself a little overwhelmed, despairing and maybe even a little self-pity about the situation.  I asked the Lord to refocus me on why we did this.  That refocus came last night while reading Spirit of Adoption by Randy Bohlender.  He brought out an interesting point about the very last words in the Old Testament in the book of Malachi, which just happened to precede 400 years of God’s silence.  Those words tell us that before that great day of the coming of the Lord that the hearts of the fathers would turn to the children and the hearts of children would turn toward the fathers.  But as Randy points out, there were a few more words tacked on to the end of this prophecy.  “Lest I strike the land with a curse”.  The Old Testament ends with this beautiful prophetic picture, but also with a warning. 

We chose to enter adoption because we felt the call to do it.  We knew that the process would require battle and to some extent, we knew the process of raising the children would require battle.  Every time one of our new children, ages 2,3,4 and 7, ask us “Are you going to take us back to the shelter?” we understand the battle all over again (its been a common question this week).  It’s the same question that many of us Christians ask our Heavenly Father:   Are You going to disappoint us all over again?  Is it when I yell and scream?  Or maybe its when I don’t do what I’m told.  Or maybe its just because I’m too difficult, unlovable and needy that will send me back to the shelter this time.  It’s a question coming from the innocent, but war-torn, broken spirit of a child that wonders if there is anything in this world that can be trusted.  We have the chance, no the privilege, to answer that question with a resounding “No. You’re not going back to the shelter.  You are with us now forever!”  Its the same answer God gives His children:  No, you're not going back to darkness, no man can pluck you out of My hand now!  (see John 10:29).

Over the next few weeks we will be making some candid posts about what its like to adopt 4 sibling children at one time all who function on a social, emotional and behavioral age of about 2 years old.  We promise that we will be open, for better or worse, richer or poorer, about the pros and cons of such a decision.  We recommend that all Christians become involved in adoption is some tangible, direct way.  Start by reading Randy’s book Spirit of Adoption.  We must reverse the curse! 

We close this blog with a request.  If you are reading this blog and are blessed or in any way touched or affected by it, we'd love to hear from you.  Please leave us a comment and let us know who you are and where you're from, and your thoughts.  Perhaps you have been through adoption and have a story to tell.  We're all ears!  Just leave us a note!

God bless you! 

Finally arrived!

 

FINALLY!  Waiting for 9 months for a newborn baby was a piece of cake compared to waiting for our 4 new children!  But like the delivery room, when you hold that newborn baby pain is quickly forgotten.  Yesterday, our four new additions to our family arrived.  If this were football, they'd call it a "broken play".  Waiting on paperwork, missed flights, much later than anticipated, and one big Christmas party were all part of the moment.  We had planned to have them well before today but God's timing is always impeccable as 20+ people arrived at our house only a few short hours after our children.  In fact, it wouldn't be surprising if many of the guests passed the social workers as they sped back to the airport to catch a late afternoon flight back to their hometown!

 

But the scene was beautiful.  The social workers called when they were but a mile or two away from the house.  Jeffrey (our 10 year old) decided he would stand on stump of our recently fallen oak tree in the front yard.  As the social workers were looking for the house they inadvertantly passed by but would received some assistance from the kids: "You missed it!  You missed it! You missed it!  There's Jeffrey! Go back, go back!"

 

When they turned around and got back we could hear them screaming in the car when they came down the driveway :-).  Before the vehicle came to a complete stop, The oldest girl and boy literally jumped out of the  car and ran to us, immediately referring to us as "Mom" and "Dad".  Karen quickly got the 2 year old out of his car seat while the 3 year old got stuck in his car seat due to some mechanical malfunction with the seat belt.  He was getting irritated that he couldnt get out, mostly fearing that his siblings were gaining an edge in seeing their new rooms first!  They immediately wanted to see their rooms and when they did you could see the delight on their faces.  The boys proceeded to take out every toy in their room and play with them.  While snapping a number of pictures for the records, the social worker uttter the words "ya'll were REALLY ready for them...this is great".  The paper work went fast and then the 2 social workers wisked away in order to return to the airport by 4.  The good byes were quick as the kids continued to be enthralled with with their new home and in particular, their new toys!  They hadn't eaten lunch yet and it was already after 2 so we took the easy way out and got them mcdonalds.  There was an attempt to get them all down for a nap but excitement trumped fatigue and only the 2 year old nodded off.

 

Even as we were attempting the whole nap thing, family and guests were trickling in for the party.  There were over 20 people in the house and alot of activity ensued.  We weren't sure how all the stimulation would effect the children but they fit right in.  They played, ate and acted like they were part of the family since day one.  Each acted as if they never meet a stranger and blended in with whoever was here.  Our oldest daughter's fiance and his brother brought his guitar and played Christmas music.  As we all sang traditional Yuletid tunes, the kids sat amoungst us and listened.  To our surprise, they were amazingly so calm during that time.  We wondered if they had ever been around anything like that before but each seemed to enjoy the moment as they sat on laps and felt the warm embraces of new mom, dad, grandmothers, grandfathers, sisters, brothers and friends.  Karen said it felt like the scene in the movie "While You Were Sleeping" when Lucy (played by Sandra Bulluck) goes to the family Christmas dinner and even though there's all this activity and even chaos, feels for the first time the family she never had.  If the moment had been a movie they would have zoomed in on each kid and narrated their thoughts.  At the end of the party when everyone was leaving, Justice (7 year old girl) gathered all the punch cups and asked if she could do dishes.  She did and was so proud of it...and Karen was too!  I asked why she was washing the dishes and she replied, "I just wanted to help mom, she's worked so hard today". 

The evening came to close with friends and family saying their goodbyes and Karen's parents sharing Christmas gifts with the children.  The 4 year old boy opened his Buzz LightYear figure and instantly proclaimed "this is the best toy ever!" Later, as I got the boys down for bed, Karen spent some time with Justice, where she gleefully sported her new PJs.  She wanted to open her new Barbie doll and in a few minutes she softly said to Karen "this was the best present ever".  Karen thought she was refrerring to the Barbie and wondered what exactly the doll meant to her.  But then Justice clarified and asked "do you know why?"  And when Karen responded "why?" she simply said "because I got a family". 

 

The special moments continued this morning when Judah awakened to tell Karen that he had a dream:  "I dreamed about being in the shelter".  Then he quickly added, "I like this place alot better!" 

 

Words cannot capture the plethora of "special moments" that were packed into the evening.  From Justice's "I got a family" to Jaden's "I like you dad!" to Judah's "mom, I was dreaming about the shelter and I like this place alot better!" it was a special time.  In looking back over these first few hours with our new children I am again reminded of the Kingdom of God.  Jesus said "let the children come!" as He hoisted one up on His lap as the words rolled off His lips.  It is a wonderful thing when a child finds his or her home.  It reminded me of the verse in Luke 15 when Jesus spoke of the scene in Heaven when somebody finds their Heavenly Father and family:  there is joy in the presence of angels [when one finds their Heavenly Father].  As I watched our 4 new children enjoy all the benefits of family, I could not help but think about all the Heavenly benefits that we enjoy as part of God's family.  We are so abundantly blessed.  While some people get to talk about what the Kingdom of God is like, we got to see, first hand, what the Kingdom of God is like.  Friends, family, kids, all together, rejoicing in the His presence, flourishing in the connections that support and bind us together.  This is life at its best!  We are so thankful to all of our friends, family, children (the older ones), blog readers, and everyone else that have supported us and blessed us along this journey of finding our children.  The best is yet to come!

Time is drawing near

Today we put the finishing touches on rooms, yard and home in anticipation of receiving our children very, very soon into our home.  The excitement of meeting mid-week has us in a certain "final phase nesting response" over the past few days.  We cannot hardly stand the wait much more and even though its a reality upon us, the entire thing seems a bit surreal right now.  We will try to blog throughout the week as we come face to face with our 4 newest children!

"I'm getting my forever family!"

We are so excited that we could not sleep last night.  The children have been told about us and their reaction was so overwhelming, particularly the oldest…”oh! I’m getting my forever family!”, she said. She wanted to know everybody’s names and what her room looked like.  It was hard to fight back the tears.  There was such a strong parental instinct that something of great value had just been found.  All the struggles that we’ve encountered along the way gave way to an overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement that children had just “found their way home”.  Later on in the evening we again became overwhelmed with a simple thought:  how we felt in that moment of hearing of the joy of a child who had found her home was exactly how our Heavenly Father feels when someone finds their way home to Him!  For a brief moment, feeling the heart of God toward His children, we see God revealing a fundamental truth....  Adoption is not just about giving a child a bigger room, a nicer meal or better clothes, it is an expression of God’s heart....It is a living, breathing, manifest representation of what happens when a man, woman or child finds his or her way to their Heavenly Father....there is a Heavenly joy released as the Father welcomes His created child into His arms.  Adoption is the tangible expression of what Jesus was trying to communicate to His followers in Luke 15:10 when He said "Likewise, I say to you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."

This morning we sit here planning our trip to meet our 4 new children for the first time!  While waiting continues to be difficult, we have been busy preparing rooms, remodeling bathrooms, and working in the yard.  It is a version of the "Nesting Response" we suppose.  But whatever, its fun and the anticipation of receiving these 4 children into our home and hearts grows stronger as we prepare to travel very soon!  Did I say, "very soon?"  The words came off my keyboard and mouth, but they seem unreal.  We've been at this adoption thing for so long that we've become accustomed to thinking of this in the "fantasy" of our minds vs. the reality of our home.  But here we are, and like the children on a long trip saying "are we there yet?" for the fourteenth million time, the answer is finally YES, or at least so close that it is moving beyond the fantasy and into the "really, its just around the next corner!"  Speaking of children, we have noticed an increase of excitement and anticipation from our children as well.  The older are rearranging schedules to make sure they meet their new brothers and sister as soon as we get them, while the 10 year old is now planning games, events, and outings for his new siblings.  Until then, be blessed...

Warrior Arrows

Some of you may have noticed a change in our blog.  Specifically, we have changed our name from "Boys in the Bulrush" to "Warrior Arrows".  Today, we'd like to explain the change.  When we began our journey on the path to adoption, we didn't know where to start.  We looked at dozens of options and agencies before deciding to pursue 2 special needs children from China.  Once on the path, we wanted to name our blog something that would reflect the idea of a journey that found 2 boys hidden in some disguised place, but nonetheless, there for us to find and welcome into our home.  The mental picture we had was of Moses in the Old Testament, when his mother floated him down the river and his floatation device came to rest in the bulrush where he was found and essentially adopted into the king's court.

As we have shared, for various reasons, we were unable to continue on the path to adopting these boys from China and we shifted our efforts to finding a sibling group in the United States.  Recently we were selected for a group of 4 siblings in the midwest and are now waiting to travel to meet them, hopefully some time in the next week or two.  The sibling group is comprised of a girl and 3 boys, so the mental picture of 2 boys in the bulrush began to break down a little bit.  This past week a new mental picture began to emerge in our mind based on Psalm 127:3-5 which says

 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth.

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.

We have always loved that verse and having our 'quiver full' of our own children. As we began to think of adding more arrows to our quiver through adoption, we felt like this was a perfect name for our blog. People have said that we are crazy for adopting 4 children at this point of our life.  And to that, we say, "yeah, we know.  We can give you a 1,000 reasons why we shouldn't adopt 4 children".  But then we continue..."we can give you 1 good reason why we should..."  Do you know what that reason is?  We believe that it is absolutely an honor and the most thrilling adventure that life has to offer to be a part of a child's life and have the opportunity to introduce them to the Kingdom of God and Jesus.  And here we are, totally blessed with 4 more!  Four more children that we can tell about God's love and the special place they hold in His heart!  Four more children in our quiver who are warrior arrows in the Kingdom of God.

Does life get any better, we ask?  What will it be like to stand before God our Father one day knowing that we had answered His call, sought Him for guidance, and introduced not only our biological children to Jesus, but these 4 as well.  Crazy?  Perhaps.  But life never really promised that everything would make sense...only that we would be accompanied by the King of the entire universe and that He desires to penetrate this world with His love.  We'll talk so more in the coming days about the thrill and why its so important to us.  Until we talk again...