Day 19

DAY 19 FAST:  Today was a strange battle, a mixed bag of sorts.  We have to speak of the spiritual implications of this fast today.  While most of our posts have spoken to the physical impact and how we felt while dramatically altering the foods we eat, today the emphasis switches to the spiritual and mental aspects of our fast.  If any of our readers are not familiar with the spiritual roots of our fast, read Daniel 10.  The crux of the story is that Daniel was trying to understand something very important.  He was trying to discern the times and gain a greater measure of insight about his life and the lives of those people he cared about.  In essence, he was facing hard times and he was trying understand the way out.  What does he do to try to calm down the “noise” in his head and heart?  He “eats no pleasant food, no meat or wine…” for 21 days.  This is what we’ve been doing.  The process of adoption had become laborious and obstructed and we were trying to understand.  Now on Day 19, our focus has turned to more of a spiritual dimension.

Day 19 simply put has been a battle.  A battle defined by will.  Our minds and bodies grow weary of the discipline and there is temptation to “call off the dogs”.  And yet, the way is not yet clear.  It feels like there is tremendous fight, beyond just the temptation of breaking the fast.  The body grows week and there is a combination of weariness, sadness and irritation.  At any given point, we can be experiencing any one of these in full intensity.  But there is something inside that says the “Glory is in the Garden”.  Translated, that means that before Jesus was raised from the dead in all the Glory of that event, He first sweat drops of blood in the garden.  Today has been the garden and it has taken every ounce of energy we could muster to maintain course.  But there is a feeling that what comes after the garden is a clear path and an entering into a new, liberating life.  We’ll talk more in days to come about that part, but for now, I’m exhausted and need to lay down!...